We have become the victims of the world's strangest robbery.
Nothing was taken except our kitchen cabinet doors ....
 |
Our kitchen auditions for page
three of the Sun newspaper – sadly they turned it down. While they were happy with the topless look, they drew the line at showing innards.. who would have guessed the Sun had standards.. |
The current suspects
are
Gunther von Hagens. I deduce that having got bored of plastinating
bodies he has moved onto plastinating kitchens. It would have been
nice if he
had waited until our kitchen had been declared legally dead......
Mrs B – wanting more shoes and handbags to fuel her
consumer
designer lifestyle has sold them to raise the funds
Me – I removed them in order to justify my recent acquisition
of a Dremel (Mini-marvel
tool used for drilling, sanding, polishing,
shaping etc...) and a new electric
screw driver. I was challenged
by Mrs B
as to why I had purchased them.... Before I could even
formulate a reply Mrs B
countered with
“You don’t do D.I.Y and when you do you're rubbish at it....”
Harsh but fair....
All that I was left with was a rather lame -
“My inner-man needed them, he hasn’t told me
why yet but he was in no mood to be argued with...”
Mrs B just rolled her eyes – a nice trick if you can manage
it, I bet if I tried it one of mine would get stuck under the bed and the other
one would get eaten by the cats (a blinding result)........
I’m a bit suspicious as to why I wasn’t pushed further on
the Dremel subject. Is Mrs B in the
process of purchasing something really expensive (requiring additional funds
and an instant “well you bought a Dremel” excuse)? This is why I’m moving her to the top of my suspect list, ahead of even
Gunther....
OK – so using your skill and knowledge of all things
BlackLOG (What do you mean you don’t normally read it, just look at the pretty
pictures? Well you have only yourself to blame....There is nothing stopping you
delving into the rich tapestry of BlackLOG back issues) can you work out which of the three suspects is responsible or can you think of an alternative reason for the missing doors????
....tune in next time for the mysterious truth
C.A.C.T.U.S (Cheap As Chips TUeSday, at our local cinema)
The choice this week was "The Hunger Games" – Now I’m all for teenagers being taken off the streets and forced to use their youthful energy and skills to decapitate, slice, shoot, burn, blow each other up etc.... but I object to this being called an original concept – The Japanese film, "Battle Royal", did this 12 years ago with more blood, gore and finesse .... I did not see the incentive for the kids in the Hunger Games to kill each other (district pride – are you kidding? Most kids today can’t be bothered to stretch their hand out to drop litter in a bin to keep their own street clean) – at least in Battle Royal they had exploding collars to keep them focused on the butchery.
C.A.C.T.U.S (Cheap As Chips TUeSday, at our local cinema)
The choice this week was "The Hunger Games" – Now I’m all for teenagers being taken off the streets and forced to use their youthful energy and skills to decapitate, slice, shoot, burn, blow each other up etc.... but I object to this being called an original concept – The Japanese film, "Battle Royal", did this 12 years ago with more blood, gore and finesse .... I did not see the incentive for the kids in the Hunger Games to kill each other (district pride – are you kidding? Most kids today can’t be bothered to stretch their hand out to drop litter in a bin to keep their own street clean) – at least in Battle Royal they had exploding collars to keep them focused on the butchery.
So while I enjoyed the Hunger Games I’m fed up of loads of
fat youff’s being interviewed from their couches (get out more) claiming this was the most original book and
film idea ever. Now here is an original idea - why don’t we drag them out (since
when has exercise been a bad thing?), stick them in the arena with a load of Battle
Royal fanatics and see who comes out on top.... OK, so in this case the exercise
will probably end in their death but, on the bright side – as they say “What
does not kill you only makes you stronger” but with possibly a side order of homicidal
tendencies.... I didn’t claim there
wouldn't be side effects.
Watch of the Week
The regular section
in support of Joe (Stunt Cock) and his growing watch business Xupes. Joe mentioned
that they had been getting a number of hits via the
BlackLOG.
Xupes has been trading for over 2 years and Joe has recently developed some great contacts in the trade which enables him to pick up surplus stock and sell them at great prices. Mrs B is a regular purchaser from his jewellery section, going self-service once she finally realised that her husband is not the jewellery buying type…
Xupes has been trading for over 2 years and Joe has recently developed some great contacts in the trade which enables him to pick up surplus stock and sell them at great prices. Mrs B is a regular purchaser from his jewellery section, going self-service once she finally realised that her husband is not the jewellery buying type…
Jaeger LeCoultre
 |
Price £17,995
RRP £36,780
Saving £18,785
|
Excellent unused condition Jaeger le Coultre Master Compressor Ladies Ltd
Edition 18k Rose Gold Diamonds automatic watch on white crocodile leather strap
with 18k rose gold deployment buckle. This is the ladies size measuring 36.8mm.
The dial is white. The watch is in excellent unworn condition with original
boxes and manual only supplied from a UK authorized dealer on 1st November 2011.
This particular model is still sold in Jaeger le Coultre Boutiques Worldwide but
was manufactured in very limited numbers.
Record
of the week
Listen Like Thieves by INXS - I would have thought is should be either "listen like ears" or "steal like thieves" but since I'm not a long dead international pop star (with erotic autoasphyxiation issues*) what do I know...
* Would it be insensitive to say that Michael was said to be a well hung individual...
The Bartender and the Thief (acoustic Version) by Stereophonics - I'm assuming that the bartender purchased our stolen doors and has flogged them to one of his customers....
Kill The Director by The Wombats - Try as I might I could not get a song called "kill the teenager" or even "kill the Hunger games fanatics" so this will have to do....
Kill The Director by The Wombats - Try as I might I could not get a song called "kill the teenager" or even "kill the Hunger games fanatics" so this will have to do....
Hope to catch you next time....
