Friday, 6 February 2009

Featuring the breakfast in bed scam

With the weather causing havoc across the UK the BlackLOG household has not been exempt from the effects.
The BlackLOG homestead goes deep under cover

With the snow piling up outside, McG decided to stick to higher ground and refused to join Mischief downstairs for his breakfast. This was unusual behaviour for my food-obsessed furry buddy and so I broke with tradition and took the food up to him. (Yes Paul, I know I gave you major grief when you gave Mischief breakfast in bed, but this is a cat that, given half the chance, would spend his entire waking life head down in a food trough.) His little eyes lit up like Oxford Street in December and he munched his way through the food in record time. Cheeky little bugger tried it on the next day as well.........Not a chance. His breakfast in bed scam didn't work a second time. Half an hour later he slunk downstairs and munched away as normal.
McG decides that the weather is so bad
that it is not worth him going down stairs

I managed to drive Mrs B halfway to the station. (A big thanks to the Moron who tailgated me most of the way. He must have interpreted the driving advice to "Give people more space in winter conditions" as "Get as close as possible to the car in front, if possible touching bumpers".) I decided not to risk the steep hill going into town - getting down it would probably have been OK but stopping might have been a bit more interesting. Without four wheel drive, going up hills in snow is extremely hit and miss. As it was I was using our old VW Golf, knowing BMW's reputation for performance on ice. (I understand Todd Carty has more control. If you don't get that reference - count yourself lucky.) I looked up some driving tips for BMW's on the Internet and received the following encouraging info:

1) Don't.

2) Drive the wife's Fiesta (particularly useless as Mrs B does not drive a Fiesta).

3) Call a pickup truck before you set off and make them follow you. You then save time when the inevitable crash happens and you can be towed the rest of the way to your destination.

4) Get the pickup truck to tow the BMW directly to the destination. This not only saves time but saves on repairs to the car.

I tried taking the ElleGee out a couple of days later and it took me 20 minutes to get off my own property. Now that would not be a problem if we lived in hundreds of acres, but 40 metres.... that's almost as slow as the M25 on a Friday night, but still not as bad as getting out of Sainsbury's car park in the centre of Bishops Stortford.
Notice the lack of cat prints across the garden

If this was a picture by a famous artist it would be worth a fortune, as it is it is just a rubbish attempt to show snow falling at night

Quote of the week:
Teenage girl screeching to her mate in Bishops Stortford's high street "I'm Bleedin' Cold!" I didn't have the heart to point out to her that open toed thong-style summer sandals and a short skirt were probably not the best attire for winter months, especially with a foot of snow on the ground. What I thought was a particularly strange shade of blue stockings turned out to be her skin colour. Nice!!!!!

Concern for fellow Blogger
I am currently worried about the fate of one of my fellow Bloggers, after he received a strange Strange MMS message. It got me thinking that with the world in recession why would the down turn not affect the world of the supernatural. What you end up with is a very low Budget version of "The Ring". Instead of watching a video and getting a phone call, before being mysteriously found dead a couple of days later. The cash strapped supernatural entity is forced to combine the call and video into a single MMS message. The victim is then found bludgeoned to death with a copper plated pan lying next to them (You have to read Cynical Scribblers blog to get the significance of the Copper pan. Just click on the "Strange MMS message" link above).

It has been reported by an unnamed source close to CS (i.e made up by me) that CS is particularly worried about a recent Horoscope which said “Today would be a good day to avoid anyone with a manic expression, especially if they are carrying a pan…”

That's it for another BlackLOG. Fans of the " BlackLOG - Historical" should note that it is currently having a mid winter break but should return shortly. Don't forget to tune into the next BlackLOG and feel free to pass the link on to any friends who might enjoy it. Also don't forget you can make a comment, even if it is just to point out a spelling or grammar error that my Editor (Mrs B) has missed. Just Click on 'have your say' below


  1. Blacklog, you are setting bad examples for your felines. Breakfast in bed?

    Remember, Dogs have masters, cats have staff, you are exacerbating the issue!


  2. AV Sounds like I need to get a dog. That way I can get him or her to take the breakfast upto the cats.....

  3. Thanks for the linkage!
    You'll be pleased to hear I've made it past Friday. I'm just taking each day as it comes at the minute.

    He's just biding his time I'm sure!

    (nice house by the way).

  4. many thanks for very kind card and message. Thinking of you often, its been a gruesome year so far hasn't it. Find your laughter where you can. Hugh and I can't decide whether to leave 2 sick youths home alone whilst we holiday for 4 nights next week - can we be that cruel? I suspect we can. Visit soon.

  5. I have to agree with the comment about not driving a fiesta in snow - it is not fun. Luckily our proper car has 4x4!

    Can I just say that you need to train that cat!

  6. Sorry for not responding earlier guys, funeral week and the loss of my home computer has kept me otherwise occupied. Fingers crossed should get home PC back at the end of the week.

    CSGlad to hear that you are still going strong. And Thanks we were lucky that we found the house at a point just before the house prices went nuts.

    Teach Would love to visit soon, just need to get Mrs B work load at a manageable level. Currently she is staying at a hotel close to her office during the week and the the threat is that might become weekends as well.

    IMO I assume from the "train that cat" remark, that you don't have much to do with cats. The only way to get a cat to do what you want is to convince it that you want it to do exactly the opposite. If you are lucky it might just accidently do what you want it to.... Herding jelly with a sieve would be easier.


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