Sunday, 8 May 2011

Hot sauce collection


Hot sauce collection
You can blame lilpixie for this one – her post about A fire breathing fetish of sickly proportions ...… brought back memories of when I used to smother everything with hot sauces. It also reminded me that I still possibly had a fine collection of some of the hottest sauces known to man….Ones that have survived the ruthlessness of a Mrs B cupboard clear out. Possibly too hot for even her to handle .... in reverse order of killer heat.....

Susie’s hot sauce – Does not sound that harsh but it does come with a 4 day toilet warning, alongside a recommended minimum 12 bog roll requirement…

Tough Guy Hot Sauce - Guaranteed at least five days in the hospital of your choice… Bring your own changes of bed sheets, no less than 7, probably more ...

Zulu Sauce – comes with the serving suggestion: Add to food and then runaway, do not look back….. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is BEWARE! This is not a hot sauce for using -- this is a hot sauce for laying down and avoiding at all costs.

Who Dares Burns – Only the strong survive, as this sauce launches a full frontal assault on your soon to be ‘ex’ taste buds. It is famed for its legendary lingering after burn which it claims can been responsible for removing the gusset of good quality underpants for up to 6 months after initial contact ….

The Hottest F*ck*n’ Sauce - Famed for it's tripple burn action ...on the way in...during its very short visit...and very much on the way out....Some of the most intense ring sting action known to man.....Keep away from pets, small children (Personally I think they should have the opportunity to try it for themselves…sort of learn through play) and above all anyone who gets offended by bad language….includes a warning to avoid contact with sensitive areas….do they honestly think people are stupid enough to rub it on parts of their body…?

…..Errr, there will be a short delay while the author of this blog attempts to find gallons of ice cold water to cool off some of his extremities…..

Bishops Stortford Music Festival
Having failed to gear myself up and purchase advance tickets, £40 for 3 days worth of entertainment, I was a bit shocked to rock up at 6pm on Sunday and find we were being mugged - £30 each for the last couple of hours….A bit steep but hey it’s a local event so we decided to swallow it….

Pandora’s Box – I happen to know the lead singer, Chloe, she attends my Yoga class and so I felt duty bound to make up for all the screaming and odd faces that I pull during Yoga class.  Pandora’s Box is a great combo: they’re all still teenagers (take any two of them and add their ages together and I’m still older by way to many years for my comfort.  Although on a brighter note, the combined age of all four of them make me look positively youthful…  What can I say? You have to clutch at straws where you can.....) Their sound is very much a combination of Kate Bush, Florence and the Machine and with a dash of Tori Amos to add some spice.

Don't forget to pause the Jukebox before playing the video....

These guys have got talaent and although the odds are stacked against them, fingers crossed they become Bishops Storfords best export since Cecil Rhodes (with out the slavery of course). Go check them out
Pandora's Box. I'm positive you won't regret it and if you do, I'll come round and give you such a good musical educating, that you won't forget in a hurry....

Dodgy – Just what were the 90’s multi-million selling group doing playing the Bishops Stortford Music Festival? Is it a sign that Bishop Stortford is heading for the big time…. Is it too much to expect U2, Coldplay, the Rolling Stones and possibly Paul McCartney next year????

With Mrs B’s eyes glazing over, determined not to listen to another second of The Pink Floyd Dimension (a tribute band – not the real thing) she marched us off towards the - Silent Dance Tent …..This lasted seconds as an onslaught of drum and base and a legion of snotty nosed kids glaring at us as we dared to enter their domain drove us scuttling for home, with Mrs B moaning that that was not dance music nor was it silent for that matter….There was also the matter that we had missed Elvis Wesley Presley on the Friday night….

A shocking discovery that old people have started their own new form of communication….
I was in Delicious (my favourite coffee shop) the other day* when a little old lady shuffled in and asked Adam (the owner) what the soup of the day was and then said “I’ll be back in half an hour” ….

When I asked Adam what that was all about, he told me she is a regular who likes to keep him informed of what she’s doing.

I’m so glad I did not miss that exchange otherwise I would never have discovered old people use a verbal form of Tweeting.

* No Mrs B those are not cake crumbs…..besides, Lemon meringue cake counts as one part of my 5 a day….as would Rhubarb crumble cake (a new favourite) if they had had any in stock….

Show me the sunny
Monitoring our way to a fortune (or not) with our Solar Panels

KW Produced so far – 1038

KW generated in the week – 133

This has earned us approximately – £506 (Including savings estimated at £56 where we have used our own energy)
Of which £175 has been paid out so far…

Record of the week

The Show by Lenka - The Lyrics towards the end of the song remind me of the Blog Of war

Me “Just enjoy the show”

Lost in Idaho “I want my Money back….”

Me “Just enjoy the show”

Suniverse - “I want my Money back….”

Me “Just enjoy the show”

Penwasser Place - “I want my Money back….”

Burn Baby Burn by Ash - In homage to the hot sauce collection…..

Good Enough by Dodgy – Perhaps in the twilight years of their career but still able to cut the mustard…..

Old by Dexy's Midnight Runners – It’s going to happen to most of us, so give respect to those wrinkly wonders as they shuffle around acting as slow moving obstructions….Don’t underestimate those handbags and walking sticks, they can be lethal…..

Photo Finish
After a few weeks rest,  back comes The Beast with Some Stortfest Photo's

Mrs B my star of Stortfest 2011....

Chloe Tingey. lead singer and song writer for Pandora's Box
Perhaps one day , when they are  famous  she will
write a song about my trials and tribulations in Yoga.

Ben Cork - Keyboards

Tabitha Tingey - we had a cat called Tabitha a real
biter but I won't hold that against her...Anyone who can
handle a giant violin has got to be OK in my book....

Ash Howarth - Drums for Pandora's Box.

Andy Miller - Dodgy guitarist "Staying out for the summer" - To be
honest he looks like he might well have slept out through the winter as well..

Bishops Stortford press, more rabbit than
your average local paper....

Nigel Clark - "Good enough" I certainly think so....

Mathew Priest

Much kudos  for starting a F*ck*ng  swear box in front
of loads of under 10's - just as well their parent were all too
drunk to notice or really care....


How can you resist these little hotties???


Written off in January by the vets, given just weeks 
 but still here and fighting hard - One Tough Guy for sure....




18 comments:

  1. I have tried dozens of different kinds of hot sauces, but Tapatillo is still my favorite.

    As for the blogging contest, sorry for the premature votulation. My readers get overly excited sometimes...

    Onto round 2! Onward and upward!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Were Dodgy any good? I seem to remember that album being ok, then they just disappeared. Obviously saving themselves all these years for the top spot at Bishops Stortford.

    Have you tried mixing all them sauces together to make one Mega Mega Hot Sauce? Neither have I...let me know how you get on.

    But if you end up on Dragons Den like Levi Roots Reggae Reggae sauce (but this time with Dodgy playing in the background "If it's hot enough for me..") then I want 10%

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hooray for fraudulent voting to put me in third.

    Also, since I'm not annoying enough, I'm going to start just telling people every. single. thing. I'm doing.

    What's your phone number again?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lost.in.Idaho said...
    I have tried dozens of different kinds of hot sauces, but Tapatillo is still my favorite.
    Not one I’ve come across in the UK, does it dissolve your teeth?

    As for the blogging contest, sorry for the premature votulation. My readers get overly excited sometimes...
    I bet you have to wear gloves when you are feeding them, those guys will have your hand off…

    Onto round 2! Onward and upward!
    I like your enthusiasm, I guess there is very little choice in direction from rock bottom….although I still think the competition will limp along the bottom, but now I’m out perhaps not….

    ReplyDelete
  5. cynicalscribble said...
    Were Dodgy any good? I seem to remember that album being ok, then they just disappeared. Obviously saving themselves all these years for the top spot at Bishops Stortford.
    They were excellent, but didn’t even get top billing at Storfest, which went to the Boomtown rats (without Bob Geldof – which I guess just makes them Boomtown) I guess Dodgy disappeared because people forgot about their other two albums….

    Have you tried mixing all them sauces together to make one Mega Mega Hot Sauce? Neither have I...let me know how you get on.
    I’m just going to check my house insurance to see if I’m aloud to mix dangerous chemicals on the premises. If I can it’s game on and my weekend sorted…..

    But if you end up on Dragons Den like Levi Roots Reggae Reggae sauce (but this time with Dodgy playing in the background "If it's hot enough for me..") then I want 10%
    Does that mean you will stump up 10% of the cost when Levi Roots and Dodgy sue the hind legs off of me….and didn’t the dragons reject Levi or was it that he rejected them….not wanting to give them 425% of his business for a 10% investment

    ReplyDelete
  6. Suniverse said...
    Hooray for fraudulent voting to put me in third.
    Cowardly yes, although I’m not sure it counts as fraudulent as it was within the rules….

    Also, since I'm not annoying enough, I'm going to start just telling people every. single. thing. I'm doing.
    I think you will find the BlackLOG already has that level of annoyance covered….

    What's your phone number again?
    Just call me at the Whitehouse and ask for Barack or POTUS, if they don’t put you through just leave a number and the address where they can reach you and I’ll send the boys around, they should be back from Pakistan shortly….

    ReplyDelete
  7. Peter Jones invested in Mr Reggae Reggae, so there is hope for us yet - I'm hoping your weekend experiment doesn't turn into a Brainiac experiement.

    Wikipedia says Mr Roots is now worth £300m (and we all know wikipedia is the bastion of truth), so I'm not looking at tropical islands to purchase with my solid 10% investment.

    Get cooking!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am really drooling over those hot sauces again. =)

    I have to admit how I was disgruntled about the voting. Apparently, I'm not the only one in the blogosphere with Attention Deficit Disorder.

    There's a music festival or two which I attend every year out of tradition. That was a great story to read, and to learn about the music acts that are popular over there. The Silent Dance Tent was hilarious.

    Oh, do I love Floyd! Mrs. B's absolutely stunning looks get her off the hook for that one.

    Also, Tweeting is funny like that. Us geeks don't even really know why we feel so compelled. That was really funny, though. I pictured the old lady & the scenario. I'm a visual reader. One of the many reasons I enjoy this blog so.

    The guy with the bunny ears - He's GREAT!
    You see what I'm saying about folks out there? Every time I'm going through my friend's Facebook photos, so many of the people in the pictures are in some sort of fun costume or get up, and well, that's just something after my own heart & humor.

    I'm sorry to hear about your beloved lil feline. He better hang in there. Yes, in a way I'm threatening the lil guy not to leave on you. There's something just so wonderful about that picture, lol and you do have some great photography skills.

    ReplyDelete
  9. cynicalscribble said...
    Peter Jones invested in Mr Reggae Reggae, so there is hope for us yet - I'm hoping your weekend experiment doesn't turn into a Brainiac experiement.
    No wait, exploding hot sauce, that might be the hole in the market that we have created ….

    Wikipedia says Mr Roots is now worth £300m (and we all know wikipedia is the bastion of truth), so I'm not looking at tropical islands to purchase with my solid 10% investment.
    £300 million…I’m not sure I could cope with the tax bill….

    Get cooking!
    Do you mean exploding?

    ReplyDelete
  10. LilPixi said...
    I am really drooling over those hot sauces again. =)
    So that was your dribble on the bottles….

    I have to admit how I was disgruntled about the voting. Apparently, I'm not the only one in the blogosphere with Attention Deficit Disorder.
    It made no difference in the end, although I realised that I had the perfect candidate for championing in the second round…. The Snee - how come she only has 17 followers????

    There's a music festival or two which I attend every year out of tradition. That was a great story to read, and to learn about the music acts that are popular over there. The Silent Dance Tent was hilarious.
    Local festivals can be fantastic, it was great seeing Pandora’s Box for the first time. I love live music and go to a lot of gigs but to actually know someone on stage, even if it is just through a yoga class…

    Oh, do I love Floyd! Mrs. B's absolutely stunning looks get her off the hook for that one.
    Yeah, Mrs. B can be a bit picky when it comes to music. I’ve managed too champion a few groups over the years and get her into them but to be honest I’m not a huge Floyd fan myself, I like the odd track but can’t get into the whole progressive rock thing….

    Also, Tweeting is funny like that. Us geeks don't even really know why we feel so compelled. That was really funny, though. I pictured the old lady & the scenario. I'm a visual reader. One of the many reasons I enjoy this blog so.
    Personally I just can’t get into the whole tweeting thing, not enough words for me… Just as well that you have a vivid imagination to fill in all the gaps

    The guy with the bunny ears - He's GREAT!
    You see what I'm saying about folks out there? Every time I'm going through my friend's Facebook photos, so many of the people in the pictures are in some sort of fun costume or get up, and well, that's just something after my own heart & humor.

    What do you mean “some sort of fun costume or get up”, that’s what we wear and is considered the height of fashion in these here parts…..

    I'm sorry to hear about your beloved lil feline. He better hang in there. Yes, in a way I'm threatening the lil guy not to leave on you. There's something just so wonderful about that picture, lol and you do have some great photography skills.
    He’s hanging on in there, he’s such a character I’m thinking of getting his obituary ready in advance (like the queen) because I don’t think I’ll be able to do it when we’ve lost him….

    ReplyDelete
  11. So I'm #2? Ewwwwwwwww.......
    Does that mean I go on? Or does Lost in Idaho carry on as a remaining contestant (damn proud of him)?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Al Penwasser said...
    So I'm #2? Ewwwwwwwww.......
    Does that mean I go on? Or does Lost in Idaho carry on as a remaining contestant (damn proud of him)?

    Nice try Mr, I see you trying to slink out of the backdoor…You are in a 3 way playoff – I’ve already had to haul back Lost in Idaho’s reigns, as he was about to Publish his entry today…Bless him, like he needs the advantage of a half a week start….

    ReplyDelete
  13. 10th July noted accordingly. Look forward to it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Is sriracha not a front runner in your hotsauce quest?

    Wait...you do yoga? Why have we not seen any photo finishes of this...

    ReplyDelete
  15. skipperthewonderhorse said...
    10th July noted accordingly. Look forward to it.
    Pleased to be able to repay a small part of your hospitality from over the years.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Nikki said...
    Is sriracha not a front runner in your hotsauce quest?
    After a bit of research, it does not appear to be available in the UK and I fear it is more of a sweet dipping sauce, not the mind blowing,

    Wait...you do yoga? Why have we not seen any photo finishes of this...
    As Mrs B often says the world is not ready for “those” pictures….I can’t believe you have never read any of my back numbers featuring my Yoga adventures….looks like I’m going to have to go for some second print runs…

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm so on board with allowing children to learn about hot sauce on their own. I don't want to witness it (I'm sure it would be loud and annoying), but I might think about watching a clip or 2 on YouTube.

    Still on the topic of hot sauce, my 20 year old brother seems to collect it too. Whenever he's home from school and does the grocery shopping, he comes back with a bottle of hot sauce and pretty much nothing else really edible. He's mostly worthless.

    Old people totally do verbally tweet. My mom is not even that old, but I can be 1000 miles away and still get updates like (all real, from the past week): "I bought a pork roast and steaks", "My night: hot tub and wine. Vodka and Lunesta (not really)", or the most recent, "I took a nap. It sucked. Next time I'll turn my phone off."

    ReplyDelete
  18. Brooke said...
    I'm so on board with allowing children to learn about hot sauce on their own. I don't want to witness it (I'm sure it would be loud and annoying), but I might think about watching a clip or 2 on YouTube.
    We could possibly extend the program to allow children the opportunity to learn about other things, including :-

    Running with Scissors
    Use of chip pan
    The joy of metal rulers and plugged in photocopier….
    Plastic bags
    Etc…


    Still on the topic of hot sauce, my 20 year old brother seems to collect it too. Whenever he's home from school and does the grocery shopping, he comes back with a bottle of hot sauce and pretty much nothing else really edible. He's mostly worthless.
    But I’m sure you love him all the same….It’s probably a student survival method, “how to dine like a king for the cost of a bottle of hot sauce….” If you find household items, pets and members of your family either go missing or appearing with strange bite marks, it might be time to keep away from your brother….At least while he’s still a student….

    Old people totally do verbally tweet. My mom is not even that old, but I can be 1000 miles away and still get updates like (all real, from the past week): "I bought a pork roast and steaks", "My night: hot tub and wine. Vodka and Lunesta (not really)", or the most recent, "I took a nap. It sucked. Next time I'll turn my phone off."

    Your mum sounds like a hoot… However I’m a bit worried about what she was using the turned on phone for….I hesitate to use the word vibrate in the same comment….

    ReplyDelete

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