Move my left leg, which is still slightly asleep.
Get out of bed and scratched my left buttock cheek.
Look down to see Mrs B still sparko.
Move to the bedroom door and open it,
The actual wording in Lulworth was “No commercial photography or painting.” You have to pity the poor artist, they are at a real disadvantage when compared to photographers. Those easels and canvas are a dead giveaway. While the Beast might not be pocket-sized, many of today’s cameras are. Besides the problem with the easel, I suspect it’s a bit difficult to snap off a clandestine painting. Do they sell really fast drying paint……? In my defence, the commercial bit is written like small print on a dodgy contract…..
I’m afraid to say “No Photography” signs are like “Don’t walk on the grass” signs, it just makes me want to break the rule…..Even worse are those “Caution! Hot!” signs. Whose fingers don’t gravitate towards them to check if it’s true? Ouch, invariably they are…..
The UK appears to be going sign mad at the moment with thousands appearing all over the place:
No parking – It’s not so much the "No parking" signs bit that I object to, some of these are almost sensible, it’s when they deliberately make signs to confuse people into getting parking tickets.
We almost got caught out in Dorset when we parked for 5 hours in a car park. Mrs B had put in £5 to cover the £1 an hour charge. It turns out that despite all the other car parks in the area getting cheaper the longer you parked, this one had stated, in small print, that after 4 hours it became £4 an hour. Fortunately for us the parking attendant was still arguing with his wife and so had not got around to giving us a parking ticket….
"No turning" - What a jolly friendly little sign these are, especially in a no through road …..if I had enough money I would purchase loads of cars and just abandon them by every one of those damn signs, putting a little note on the windscreen saying. “OK, how do I get my car back then?”
"No swimming" - OK, when it is in a dangerous area like a waterfall or near rapids or even a sewage plant….but in a swimming pool? – No, I say, no it’s too much….
"No mobile phones" - I think I can understand this one in hospitals and petrol (gas if you like) stations ( but I recently saw one of these on the door to a café toilet. What were they worried about, that someone was going to tweet about having a dump in there….?)
"Drive carefully little princess on board" – Well done, so you have proved you can reproduce but why does that mean you expect everyone else to compensate for your driving inadequacies
"Police - accident" - There are so many of these about it begs the question “Why are the police not banned from driving on the roads?”
"Police - slow" - More proof: all those police accidents must be down to the police’s excessive speeding
It makes me want to put up loads of “No signs, except this sign” signs. Only I deeply suspect I am not alone out there and lots of people with burnt fingers will only be inspired to create new signs …
Are there any signs out there that annoy/amuse you?
Eclipsed by Mrs B
Apart from suffering signoyance - Oh yes another new word for you guys to get your teeth into, don’t tell me I don’t know how to look after you…..OK, which of you clever dicks put up the sign:
Sorry about that distraction. Some of you can be so cruel….
Apart from the joys of signoyance, the highlight for me was Mischief jumping on my knee and promptly having a five minute sneezing fit. While you might not think it exciting, it sure as hell eclipsed Sunday, when I got a fatal (certainly for our bike ride) puncture and unfortunately still managed to make it home in time for “that” game* . I can tell you, you haven’t lived until you have been covered in cat nasal spray. The little minx was not sneezing before and has not sneezed since. Don’t be surprised if I come down with some sort of feline flu….. Symptoms of which are 95% sleep addiction, 5% special ability to be distracted by wriggly bits of string, 5% eating (25% in McG’s case) and a loss of basic maths ability….
* We have the Ashes in cricket, based on the death of English cricket.Things were so bad we should probably do the same for English International football, except I’m not sure it’s legal to burn players anymore, even the rubbish ones…. P.S. I over heared a rumour that Mr Rooneys poor showing was down to having been caught with a Lady of negotiable virtue** before the World Cup had even started. It is a good source - a girl reading out a text to her mate as they left Tesco's – The News of the World would pay good money for that level of reliability…..
** That’s probably the end of her career, imagine the shame of being caught in bed with a pink version of Shrek .
Sign of the Times – The Belle Stars
Born under a bad sign – Jimmy Hendrix
Catch you next week