Monday, 9 March 2009

If music be the food of Love.....

.....Lilly had better change her tune or risk being starved too death of affection

What is it with Lily Allen - Her latest album "It's not me, it's You", I love the title by the way, appears to be 50% love angst with a dash of (OK 50% swearing). Not a problem as long as you don't accidentally get the Parental Guidance version. Even then it would probably have been OK if they had actually beeped out the swearing but oh no they decided to blank it out instead. The result is a sort of musical Morse code, loads of blank space punctuated by the odd noise. This fails to work on any level. My advice is if you decide to get this album save your sanity and live with the swearing and go for the explicit version.

Now to the route of Lilly's problem the constant Love Triangles, or are they circles?, before selecting or chucking (I'm not actually privy to our Lil's current state of play) her next lover she should try going through the following,scientifically developed questions. (Please note that these have been specially developed for the BlackLOG and should not, under any circumstances be compiled by just anyone. I have done years pain staking research, looking through my sisters back copies of 'Jackie magazine' circa the 1970's, so regard myself as fully qualified in the art of 'dolling out Love advice', If only I could stop Mrs B sniggering in the background I'm sure I could give 'Dear Deidre'a run for her money...)

The love questionnaire

Reasons not to be with someone :-
1) They do not allow you to be you. (although that can sometimes be a good thing)

2) They emotionally or physically abuse you (please note that this does not include the normal differences between men & women - i.e leaving wet towels around or a trail of underwear)

3) You don't actually like them (not a great basis for any relationship)

4) They don't like you (if you find yourself in this position it probably means you are not actually in a relationship but you are in fact a stalker).

Reasons to be with someone :-
1)They make you feel special (oh, god I think I'm going to puke)

2) You get a funny feeling in your stomach when you think about them (Be careful not to confuse this with trapped wind. Easily done, Lady Diana is probably the best modern example of where this can go wrong....)

3) You would take a bullet for them. Even then you probably need to ask the question why is someone shooting at them in the first place?

4) You would give them your last Rollo. Beware this may have unwanted side affects - turning your once thin and fit partner into a blob may result in them having to spend all their money on larger sized clothing and could end up in a law suite if they decide to Sue you for leading them into reckless enfatment....

If this does not sort Lilly out once and for all, I'm not sure what will? it might result in a change in song writing direction for her but I'm sure she will be happier for it.

Bishops Stortford with the lens cap on
I have not had time to get any new 'Bishops Stortford with the Lens cap on, shots' so thought would end this week with some cute shots of animals not being badly treated at Crufts. Unfortunately McG and Mischief have gone on strike, something to do with wanting their Artistic Rights recognised. So I have had to use shots of our friends dogs Rocko and Saffy and my sisters cat Fluffy, who is just such a tart....


  1. glad to see Mrs B returned to the marital home and released from hotel. Round TAble ball: 6th June 2009 if Mrs B not locked in hotel - do let us know if you can make it - great photos!

  2. It is good to get most of Mrs B back. She is still working long hours but does at least make it home. Would love to see you on the 6th will check with Mrs B and confirm.


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