No way or I'll wail, 3D the way forward and photo disaster

Noah and the Whale or as Mrs B now calls them "No way or I'll wail" -
It was off to Camden, North London and a new venue for us - "The Roundhouse". I'm not sure why I have never managed to make it to the Roundhouse before: it's a great little venue, a bit like a cross between a mini Albert Hall and a circus tent. Sadly the music did not live up to it. I had a feeling that all was not going to go well from the moment Mrs B complained about the melancholic drone that I had put on her Ipod. A couple of weeks before I take Mrs B to a gig I load the group we are off to see onto her machine. I had already taken the precaution of removing half of the "No way or I'll wail" tracks that I felt were a bit down beat . Oh dear I should have removed all of the tracks except their big hit "5 years time". Even I found the majority of the gig dull* :

"a bit like watching an amoeba that is watching fresh paint dry".

About halfway through the gig I would down grade this to

"like watching a dead Amoeba that is watching 20 year old paint dry...."

Admittedly they picked up a bit for the encore (You may ask what were we still doing there at the encore? Hmm I think it was because I was determined to hear "5 years time") but when I say picked up a bit it was like the paint being quick drying variety rather than standard paint. Once the last cords of "5 years time" had been sounded, I whisked Mrs B out of the gig, before the main body of the audience hit the streets of Camden and attempted to throw themselves under passing buses like depressed lemmings....

For the record The Beast did not join us for the gig and instead Mrs B's Mini Beast was on photographic duties.

* In my defence I purchased the tickets before "No way or I'll wail" released their second album, which despite critical acclaim turned them into North London's answer to assisted suicide, certainly cheaper than flying to Switzerland but a horribly painful way to go.... I did try and sell the tickets but was informed by the authorities that I would qualify for an assist for any resulting deaths and an indefinite stay in prison for excessive cruelty to fellow human beings....(Mrs B wants to know why that did not apply to her.... It's a good question and I'm currently in talks with my solicitor to find out a good legal argument that does not end in divorce....)

No way or I'll wail - perhaps not one of Mrs B's Favourites

Five years time - I'm not sure they will make five weeks time

The joys of parking in Camden
I almost got caught out with the parking rules this week as Camden Council turned out to be a bit sneaky. 6.30pm is almost the universal time for London parking restrictions to be relaxed on week days and as I got out of ElleGee I glanced up at the sign and read 6:30pm, leaving me feeling very pleased with myself that I had managed to find a space practically outside the venue. Fortunately I happened to notice a second smaller sign further along that said parking restrictions until 11pm. I checked the 6:30pm sign and realised that this was for unloading only and not general parking. The snide sods - talk about money-grabbing opportunists. So it was back into ElleGee and a quick trip around the corner where the parking restrictions were more reasonable.

Camden Roundhouse - great venue but don't park outside

3D (what's lacking)
While replying to one of last week's comments I had a sudden revelation about what the real problem with 3D is and why it makes some people feel queasy. When you are watching a film in 3D - and the film appears to drag you through bushes but without you having the sensation of being whipped by the branches, it's just not natural and is liable to get your brain sending all sorts of freaky messages. What you need to do is somehow combat this and I propose "Feel 'o' Vision" (patent pending) at the antidote. This would revolutionise cinema going but with the side effect that it would destroy the Porn film industry.

"No!" I hear you say, " surely people would be flocking to Soho and other such places of ill repute, to experience 3D porn incorporating Feel 'o' Vision (patent pending)"

Well yes I have to agree with you and, initially, profits for the Porno Pound would soar. The end however would be sudden and catastrophic, once the cinemas received the clean up bill. It would make
Enron look like a financial success story.....

Photo disaster
My main photo storage hard drive** crashed this week. (When I say crashed I don't mean the brakes failed and it ran into another hard drive)

** Turns out it was not a very hard disk, first sign of any trouble it runs off home to its mamma and refuses to let me have my data back.

You can imagine how The Beast took the news :

Me :- "You know all those pictures you've taken?"

The Beast :- "Click!!"

Me :- "Would you like to take some of them again?"

The Beast :- "Click?"

Me :- "No, no there was nothing wrong with them...."

The Beast :- "Click!"

Me :- "I just thought we could have so much fun as we try and recapture the moments"

The Beast :- "Click!!!!"

Me :- "So that would be a no then?"

The Beast :- "Click!!!"

Me :- "Anymore of this attitude and you won't be going to see "Noah and the Whale"

The Beast :- "Click!"

Me :- "What do you mean you don't care and that Mrs B told you that they're more depressing than an episode of East Enders anyway"

The Beast :- "Click!"

Me :- "Where did you learn such language? You can go to your case until you've calmed down"

The Beast :-  "Click"

Me :- "I can always replace you with an instamatic"

The Beast :- Said nothing but gave me the most pitiful one eyed look of all time and promptly sulked for the rest of the week - So now you know why The Beast didn't make it to "Noah and the Whale".

• Fortunately, I had most of my music and photos backed up to on a secondary drive (These have now been backed up onto a third drive and I'm thinking about a possible 4th. Just in case the brakes do actually fail next time and the main hard drive crashes into the secondary hard drive, causing the 3rd drive, who happened to witness it drop dead from shock).

• Unfortunately though, I last backed up just after New Year, so nothing taken since mid January had been backed up (including Mrs B's Sister's wedding, much wailing and gnashing of teeth).

• Fortunately, I had decided not to delete the wedding photos off my memory cards last weekend. (Probably due to idleness rather than good planning on my part).

• Unfortunately, the memory cards contain the full 500 shots before I had sorted them out (deep joy, another session discarding the rubbish shots).

• Fortunately, I had saved the 80 pictures intended for a CD Rom for JL & Matt onto a separate memory card in order to play them through our TV.

• Unfortunately, I had already re-formatted the card that contained our niece's 18th birthday pictures, thereby deleting them.

• Fortunately, I purchased some software last year that allows you to retrieve data off formatted drives.

• Unfortunately, my licence to use the software had expired. (I thought I had purchased the product not a timeshare in it.)

• Fortunately, they were doing a cut price renewal for the licence. (Anyone wanting to spend a week in my freshly refurbished Data Retrieval Timeshare, do get in touch.)

• Unfortunately, while the programme had worked successfully on new memory cards, my efforts to retrieve pictures from older, well used, memory cards ended up finding practically all the photos I had ever taken on them and shrunk them down to a thumbnail format - Aaaaarrrrrggghhhh!!!!! (This means that while I could still send my niece a disc of photos I will also have to send her a powerful magnifying glass....)

The corrupt drive is now with someone who is seeing what, if anything, can be retrieved. (I felt this was a better option than me drop kicking the piece of crap around the house in the vague hope that what is left of it might just work when I attach it to my PC. This is from the "Bang it hard enough" theory of repairs, which only ever works in bad sitcoms. It is a great stress reliever until it crashes through the TV and takes out Mrs B's favourite vase.....)

So fingers crossed on that one.....The moral of this story is regular weekly backups from now on........

Street Photo update
I had promised in last week's BlackLOG some information that has come to light about the problems of taking photographs in public in the UK - unfortunately I have misplaced the article (probably on my crashed hard disk) besides I've put you through enough trauma already this week so I will hold that back till another time ....Have a good one.

P.S. If you get the chance listen to the 3rd song on the play list. While looking for music to go with this weeks’ Blog (Oh yes you guys probably miss this service. Don’t worry I appreciate my efforts even if you don’t) I came across the Rolf Harris cover of the Divinyls - “I touch myself” – It is so wrong on every single level that it ends up being right (Well kind of. It will make you feel sick, fascinated and wanting a damn good wash in equal measures. Warning, if you find yourself even the slightest bit turned on it’s probably time to listen to “No Way or I Wail” and end it all now before it is too late. This could end up as bad as Frank Bough, tank tops and whips….). If Rolf ever needs cash he can always set himself up a premium suffer sex line ……