fortunately her glasses and face broke her fall
– Ouch …
Don’t worry, she is on the mend, although she is extremely grateful that she doesn’t suffer from hay fever, thanks to the number of flowers that have been arriving – The front door has been like Heathrow airport at times, with flower delivery vans stacking around the house waiting for the opportunity to make their final delivery approach…..
I had a request to bring back the “Show Me The Sunshine” section – cataloguing our way to a small fortune* through our investment in Solar Panels. Since our panels are currently suffering from S.A.D (Seasonal affective disorder) it is too depressing to report, as we watch our investment burn (if only, any sort of heat would be a blessing at the moment) a hole in our pockets. Still it was always a long term investment and we still have a contract for another 23 years….
* Reminds me of the old joke – “How do you create a small fortune – start with a large one and let me invest it for you….”
So instead I am launching a new section which allows me to make wild and sometimes outrageous statements on the understanding that “It’s just my opinion”. I might have to put a lawyer on a retainer – Sis you’re not doing much at the moment so you have got the job – As long as you can find your Guildford Law school graduation certificate – I don’t want anyone dodgy……While I have known you all my life there were a couple of years before I arrived that I can’t account for (this is possibly a very unsubtle way of getting it out there that you are my “older” sister).
In honour of this I’m also rebranding the comments section of the BlackLOG as “Your Social Comment” - go on knock yourselves out.
Casting my eye around the universe what shall I start with…..?
Let me see….
Middle lane drivers….
Smokers who huddle around doorways and force you to breathe in the vile stench …….
People who don’t acknowledge you when you hold a door open for them……
Choices, choices, choices……
Oh, I Know
I hate Argos** (The Shop, not to be confused with Argo the film, which has proved a bit of a surprise and a triumphant return for Ben Affleck, who in my opinion has not done anything worthwhile since Goodwill Hunting). For those of you outside of the UK (or too posh to use the high street) Argos is a retail shop that makes you feels like you are in a Bookies. Instead of selecting items off shelves you flick through a catalogue (a bit like a racing form book). You then fill out a form (like a betting slip) with one of those quarter size pens that only exist in Bookies (and Argos). You then take your betting slip up to the counter and
** Sadly sometimes the only place you can get something quickly is Argos
I came up with a great way of avoiding waiting around with the “guests” – I put my order in and then went out and had a coffee. The plan was to stroll back in, go directly to the counter and get out quick…..only the
That taught me a couple of valuable lessons –
Learn to wait for things and never use Argos (or Ikea*** for that matter) again…..
*** Where you queue to get into the car park, queue to get into the shop, queue to look at the items, queue to pay for the item, queue to exit the building, queue to queue to exit the car park ….put the bit of flatcrap together and then shortly afterwards queue to deposit it at the recycle centre that used to be a dump but has now gone all upmarket on us and requires a doctorate (in putting square circles in triangular holes…) to work out which bin everything should go in…
Is it OK to?
I created my first and possibly only tweet this week, when I tweeted Channel 4’s Last Leg’s “Is it OK?” section.
BlackLOG65 - "Is it OK for Oscar Pistorius to fall back on a 'Blade Runner' defence and claim he thought Reeva was a replicant….?"
The show for once (and probably quite rightly) decided to take the moral high ground and not include any OP jokes…
Not for the first time I find my comedy timing was off and explains why, other than because I’m not particularly funny, I’m not a comedian….
So I guess the answer to the question is a larger than life “No”….
In honour of the show (which is well worth watching by the way), other Is it OK’s in Mr and Mrs B’s world this week:
- Is it OK to claim that Mrs B was in hospital for a face job?
- Is it OK to claim that I’ve been beating her again?
- Is it OK to try and get your overweight cat to exercise by tempting him with food….?
The Last Picture show
The Kittyball workout is the result of years of extensive research and development (i.e McG has taken years to work out how to get a treat out of the ball).
It should not be attempted by the faint hearted (Was Mrs B’s face plant a result of the anaesthetic or was it a sneaky go on McG’s Kittyball)
It should not be attempted without first paying large sums of money to the developers of this Programme “BlackLOG lose your pounds, dollars sense enterprises” (While this won’t help you in any way - unless you want to get your needle through the eye of a camel**** - it will help swell my bank balance.)
**** The other way was far too complicated and what’s a bit of camel spit and a kick in the chipmunks***** between friends
***** Which ironically end up looking like a camels toe for days afterwards – don’t try this without losing your common sense first
Hope to see you next time....