Guest post - Greeting from the Wicked Witch of the West

Those of you expecting a normal BlackLOG this week, will find it very different, as I have traded blog places with the lovely Amy. It's a bit like those body swap films but without a huge Hollywood budget or for that matter any B list stars that you almost recognise...Amy is attempting to cover her week in a BlackLOG style, while over at "Confessions of a fashion editor on sugar" I'm trying to revolutionise the fashion world.....

Just a quick note, after limping around for two weeks I eventually forced Mrs B to go to the doctors. Diagnoses one broken leg, ouch, way to go Mrs B. Full horrific details next week*.

* I felt this news was not appropriate to break on a fashion Blog, although I must admit Mrs B does make the Air Boot, that she gets to wear, look hot**.......

**I might have exaggerated, more of a lukewarm...possibly bordering on tepid....

Without further interruption please give your full support to

Amy

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Good morning, class. Today, we’re going to look at the life and times of a strange young lady we came across on a strange thing called a ‘web site’…

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I suppose that I should probably tell y’all a little bit about myself before I proceed to bore you to death with details of my week. Because, y’know, it’ll all make a lot more sense that way. Maybe.

So. Me. I’m Amy (although I answer to “Alice”, “Saffy”, “Dustbin”¹, and “Oi you” as well), and I’m an 18-year-old student and blogger from NE England, who quite often likes to pretend to be a fashion journalist of some description². I also have a slight problem with ‘Silent Witness’, and the worst taste in music in history. Fact. (My contribution to the Blacklog playlist is ‘Mountains’ by Lonestar. No, you haven’t heard of it.)

{Sorry to Interrupt, BlackLOG here. I'm afraid Amy's choice of music appears to have broken the Jukebox, so no Lonestar I'm afraid }

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Are you sitting comfortably? Then we’ll begin.

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So. This week, my life has slowly become weirder and weirder. I have a Theatre Studies performance exam tomorrow³, and I’ve literally spent all week in a huge, stressy tiz.

It’s not too much fun, really!

I’m playing three characters in one scene, which is possibly the most stupid thing I have ever agreed to do. It’s also one of the most offensive. My lovely ‘friends’ (*cough cough*) have cast me as the Wicked Witch of the West, and the ugly stepsister, and the mean, nasty ex-girlfriend…

I’m really not that mean. I promise.

I am, however, very experienced at being the Wicked Witch of the West…

(I only put that picture in because I know that my friend, Sarah⁴, will kill me for it.)

So, basically, this horrible, horrible exam has involved four months of hell, and a month of manic rehearsing and panicking. I’m one of those annoying people who becomes manically stressed at the drop of a hat (a witch’s hat), and so this thing is making me maaaaaaaaaaaaad.

Also, horribly organised.

This is the side-effect of Headteacher’s Daughter Syndrome, one of the many genetic afflictions I apparently suffer from⁵.

It also means that I am actually incapable of spending a weekend at this time of year as an actual weekend. Because, y’know, that would be way too conventional. I’m therefore currently in manic-revision mode…

Which is really boring for y’all⁶ to read about.

Instead, here’s a video, in which I demonstrate my manic-revision-type nature, as well as a bunch of stuff about a campaign I’ve been running. And a pond. Hooooboy, you need to see that pond…

*Ahem*

 

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Are you taking notes, class? Because there will be a test at the end.

Especially about the pond. Blink, and you’ll miss it. So make sure you watch closely…

*

You liked the pond? Awesome. I knew you’d like the pond.

What else, then? Hmmm. Well, I’ve been laptop shopping.

Taking my brother laptop shopping was literally the worst thing I ever did. He’s one of those tech-types. I’m one of those not-tech-at-all-despite-having-a-blog-types…

Oh deary dear me.

For example: to me, this is what RAM is –

To him, it’s something horribly complicated, that I still don’t understand.

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If, at any point, anyone would like to inform our naïve blogger what exactly it is that RAM is, in plain, simple, normal-person speak, then she would be most grateful. Thank you.

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 To be honest, though, that’s about as interesting as it gets at the moment.

Thanks for taking the time to read my random, random babblings. Although I like to pretend to write sensible, serious-type things (like fashion)(HAAAA!!), most of what I write winds up quite a bit like this… so please, do come along to www.confessionsofafashioneditor.onsugar.com J I’m nice. I don’t bite.

Often.

LoveLoveLove

 - A -

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Explanations of more confusing parts of this lesson may be found below. We hope you found them interesting…

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1. My Dad’s a cockney. Dustbin lids = kids. Over the years, ‘Dustbin lids’ became ‘dustbins’, and, to be honest, I’m so used to being called it now that I don’t even notice… *Rolls eyes*

2. Of the kind who knows bugger-all about fashion… *Rolls eyes again*

3. Wednesday 21^st April 2010, in case you’re a time-traveller from the future, and are wondering when and where you are.

4. She’s the pretty one, in the fairy outfit. I’m the other one. In the witch’s hat.

5. Others include – academic rebellion, innate distaste for scientists, Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy obsession, and terrible, terrible, terrible music taste

6. See above: bad music taste. I blame the “Y’all”ing on Natalie Maines. Go Google her. It’s less embarrassing for me to make you do this obtusely. *Shifty eyes*

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Thank you Amy, a big round of appluase for a very talented young blogger

If anyone wants to join the social experiment  and Blog swop then :-

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  If you want to save fashion, after the BlackLOG car crash, go see Amy.

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  If you want to have ago at posting a badly worded, all over the place blog, which attempts to cover your week in an almost humouras way, then contact me....

Class dismissed