Mrs B the shoe snob and my failure to talk in tongues

Not sure what happened last week, the BlackLOG received the least hits and fewest comments in almost a year....That was after what seemed to be a bit of a buzz regarding my pending foray into the world of fashion with some genuine excitement appearing to be building up. I guess the expectation proved too much....Oh well, pushing on......audience or no audience. This week the story of how Mrs B got broke and I don't mean financially...

Some 2 weeks after "twisting" her ankle, Mrs B was still limping around, with no sign of improvement. The point when she slipped on the stairs and jammed her good foot (sorry, previously good foot) into the wall to save her bad foot, was probably the breaking point last straw. Disturbed by a loud noise I ran to find Mrs B sobbing in a crumpled heap, half way down the stairs. (Unlike the Muppets there was no indecision about being half way up or even half way down the stairs. Unless Mrs B had managed an impressive twist with double back flip, she was definitely coming down). Now Mrs B is a tough cookie and does not produce tears easily (sometimes I have to be extra mean just to get a glassy look across her eyes....), so this was not a good sign. I did manage to finally get her to commit to going to the doctors....

Two days later Mrs B actually got around to hopping down to one of her Doctors at work.

Shock horror, turns out that the twisted ankle was actually a suspected fracture and so Mrs B was dispatched to see a Consultant Orthopaedic Surgeon. A couple of x-rays later and we received the news that Mrs B had sustained a lateral Malleolar (Weber B) fracture. Mrs B was intrigued to know how she had managed to get around on a broken leg. I think the consultant was genuinely impressed that she had indeed managed to walk (well hobble really) on it for two weeks without any support other than Ibuprofen. Although he was not so impressed when I jumped in and answered Mrs B's question before he had a chance to respond. My explanation that :

"The Fibula is not the main supporting bone of the leg but a backup for the Tibia....." (I'd looked up some stuff on the internet)

While being fairly simplistic, it beat his overcomplicated medically layered monstrosity of an explanation. I didn't have a clue what he was on about and most of the words did not come up on any WEB search (well certainly not how I was trying to spell them). He had the cheek to chuck me a dirty look, while Mrs B gave me an embarrassed "shhhhh". She probably would have given me a discrete kick as well but fortunately I had positioned myself on her bad leg side.....

So Mrs B is now walking with the aid of an Air Cast, which is useful for mobility and getting Mrs B a seat on the train, but as a fashion accessory is proving to be a bit of a nightmare, especially as we have a Wedding and a Spring Ball (Other than the 'hop' and possibly some well orchestrated one legged 'po-going', I think Mrs B might be sitting out most of the dancing) to attend, in the next few weeks. Since high heels are currently out of the question, Mrs B decided she wanted to find a pair of ballet pumps for the events but not just plain ones, she wanted a bit of glitter to cheer herself up.

After traipsing up and down Bishops Stortford High street and failing to find anything suitable in the high-end shoe shops I suggested she try ShoeZone - (a cheap and cheerless basement bargain shop for the not so well heeled). This did not go down well. I pointed out that she had nothing to lose and so begrudgingly she limped towards Shoezone. A surreptitious look around to make sure that no one saw us and she bundled me inside.....She was then mortified to find exactly the type of shoe that she was looking for within seconds and at just £9.99. The shoe shop snob was rather reluctant to buy them. I pointed out that at that price she could afford to wear them a couple of times and then throw them away. She shuffled up to the counter, paid cash so that the purchase could not be traced back to her, refused the offer of a ShoeZone bag and then burst into the street trying to look like she had come out of anywhere but ShoeZone.

McG decides there are to be no photos of the Air Cast...

"Move along, nothing to see here..."

The lastes fashion statement - however

not currently avialable in ShoeZone.....

My Own Health scare
During this time I've had a bit of a health scare myself, namely a growth at the bottom of my mouth. The first question I found myself asking, was it better to see a Doctor or a Dentist?.....I decided on the dentist, as they get to see all sorts of things of an oral nature while doctors have the potential to get side tracked by lots of different parts of the anatomy.

Typical of such things, before I called for an appointment it was growing out of control, I thought I was going to gain a second tongue. Which, while odd, would have been pretty cool. I could have done the whole biblical-talking in tongues and everything. As it was, as soon as I made the appointment the growth stared receding. Fortunately there was enough left by the appointment for the dentist to confirm it was just a common skin tag which would vanish in good time...A quick descale of the old dentures and a follow-up booking, just to make sure everything was fine, and I was out of there. I suspect If I had tried to see the Doctor I would have still been waiting for an appointment....I wonder what my dentist is like with broken bones? I might try sending Mrs B along for a second opinion and a quick toenail scrub....

Yoga playing with fire....
After being berated for failing to make the required Yoga shape in a recent session my comment to my Yogress

"The problem is It's like taking a Ferrari Engine (I.e my body) to a Skoda garage (Her Yoga Class) ...."

Did not go down well. I received some severe adjustments for that one I can tell you.

Not that I ever learn to keep my gob shut. In the very same class, we were told to use the wall to help maintain the shape. My shape was again far from perfect, but in my opinion not bad for someone with early onset rigor mortis. Once again I received some public criticism to which I responded to with:

"I can't help it if you've provided me with the wrong shaped wall."

This was met with a scathing look, which could probably turn an iron bar into a molten pool of metal but had absolutely no effect on my rigid muscles which continued their inflexible approach to living...

Music problems
Bad news for any jukebox fans - currently I can't add new tracks or even change the order. I fear if this does not change I will have to remove it. Damn it was all going so well...

Have a great week, I'll just leave you with a few photo's taken localy

Who says Bishop Storford is not a desirable area to

live in? A swan nesting in the center of town...

Look a second swan, do the maths

1 +1 is going to = Many

Is McG the worlds first self brushing cat?