Saturday 9 July 2011

Flying kites, no strings attached

Concluding our trip to Wales
For the second part of our week in Wales (after Alfie, Kirsty and Joe had gone home) we had booked a Red Kite and Dolphin viewing tour…Now, we could have saved some money and done this tour on our own but  Carl, who runs http://www.wildlifetoursandeducation.co.uk/brings a level of knowledge and understanding of wildlife that adds a whole dimension.  It’s like the difference between watching a foreign language film with no subtitles – You certainly see everything but generally haven’t a clue what’s going on (except maybe the sex scenes, those French animals sure are randy buggers). Carl does the talk over that fills in all the gaps (except for the sex scenes that is. Carl probably figures we can work those out for ourselves.  He does however play generic elevator music* and gives us soft focus spectacles until the embarrassing deed is done) .    

* OK, this is not strictly true, he does however play bird sounds to attract our feathery little buddies**

** No, not for sex scenes (it was not that type of tour) they generally arrive looking to defend their territory . Some of them can get quite feisty and very noisy, a bit like waking Mrs B up before the 15th snooze cycle….

On top of that Carl treats his guests like royalty. Despite a long day  driving us around Carl cleaned his Discovery inside and out while Mrs B and I were fast asleep.  Our car is lucky to see a sponge every six months  and would probably freak if we took a Hoover to the inside.  My idea of cleaning the interior of ElleGee is to go out in a rain shower with the roof down and slow down to less than 70mph (the magic number for keeping relatively dry during anything but the heaviest of rain falls).

Red Kites
These are wonderful birds - I’m a big fan of the raptors. OK, maybe not their eating habits, which leave an awful lot to be desired.  They can’t help it though since they are, after all, the direct descendants of Velociraptor’s – that’s dinosaurs to the uninitiated - who are evidently bad parents and didn’t teach their great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great  grand children how to use a knife and fork…..That aside, watching them glide and swoop is just awe-inspiring…   

Dolphins
It took a while but after a couple of  hours of waiting we glimpsed a dorsal fin, scything through the waves , it was very exciting but despite the long wait our friend the dolphin ordained only to show us his fin and tail….not even a glimpse of an eye or face….Now don’t get me wrong I think dolphins are brilliant it’s just, aren’t they just Sharks with a better dental plan and superior PR?

The number of shark attacks are tiny and I would not be surprised to learn that more people are killed by dolphins every year.  It’s just that dolphins :-_

  • Are better at covering  their tracks;
  • Have better Alibis;
  • Wrote the scripts for the Jaws films;
I bet Flipper (rather like Skippy the Bush Kangaroo) wasn’t trying to save people but was trying to lure them to their doom, just with clever TV editing they made him look like a hero rather than an aquatic Dexter….

Flipper - possibly not as innocent as he looks
Barenaked Ladies (featuring Stinky Phone)
A new venue for me this week – Koko in Camden

It was so hot driving into London that for once, as well as having ElleGee’s roof down, I had the windows and wind deflector down – fantastic breeze – I was really not looking forward to getting into a hot and sweaty club.

The satnav had a paddy (probably overheated) and took me on an unsolicited tour of Camden, trying to tempt me into going down one way streets......

“.....but I was only going one way officer….How, other than the "No entry" sign, the big blue arrows and the hundreds of cars driving at me honking their horns (rather too aggressively I might add…)  was I to know which was the correct way I should be going???”

It was only after I looked up Mornington Crescent tube (which is directly opposite KOKO) that the Satnav managed to pull itself together and deliver me at the destination. I even found a parking space just yards from the venue.  It was all going too well, until, as I stepped out of the car, my phone took a swan dive from my pocket.  

-          The remainder of this sequence has to be imagined in hyper slow motion…

I could see the soft case that the phone resides
in, between phone calls, tumbling over and over in a
downward spiral that any Red Kite would be proud
of.  My only hope was that it would swoop away at the last
moment from the rather rancid looking puddle it was heading
towards….The splash (well more of a splodge really ) told me
that the Red Kite impression was over.  It bounced once and then
arked up and I watched in horror as my “not so smart” phone
leaped from the case and managed to separate itself into three
distinct parts – the back casing, the battery and the rest of the
phone…..it was like watching a mini-synchronised swimming
event......if the event was being held in an open sewer rather
than a nice clean swimming pool.

Hold on to your ear lobes as the BlackLOG now returns to what passes for normal speed….

The reason for the splodge, rather than a splash, soon became clear. I retrieved the parts from the thick gooey, smelly, mucky pustule  of a puddle. Wiping as much of the smelly primeval ooze off with the soft case as possible, I attempted to reassemble the constituent parts into a fully functioning wonder of the communication world. 

The phone was having none of it….

How was I going to be able to contact Mrs B and our friends Robert and Flora ?(who were joining us for the evening)….

The answer was I wasn’t….

Do you ever ask yourself what we did before mobile phones?

It’s simple, you would arrange more sensible times and places to meet and not make yourself even later as you constantly phone to apologise for not being where you said you would be at such and such a time….

As it was I was lucky as Flora and Robert saw me as I wondered around staring at my useless stinky mobile phone.

Fortunately they had not dropped their phones into a cesspit and so we were able to contact Mrs B.  Unhelpfully Robert thought it was hilarious and christened my phone “Stinky phone”….

The concert was great.  The Bare-Naked ladies were brilliant as usual, despite the loss of Steve Page.  The support Boothby Graffoe – a singing Comedian was hilarious and as an added bonus Koko is a brilliant venue. All my fears of overheating went out of the window as Koko is fully air-conditioned  I didn’t even have to open the windows and drive the building up the Camden Road at excessive speeds in order to to keep cool…..

Show me the sunny
Monitoring our way to a fortune (or not) with our Solar Panels

KW Produced so far – 1951

KW generated in the last week – 141

This has earned us approximately – £975

Record of the week
If you want to hear the music you have to press play on the Ipod at the top....

The Dream Of The Dolphin by Enigma - And as we all know now Dolphins dream of being Sharks....Incidently I discovered this week that the UK TV show "Dragons Den" is called "Shark Tank" in the states  

If I Had $1000000 - Barenaked Ladies - In celebration of watching a great live band at a brilliant venue 
Kite by Nick Heyward  - Ok it's not red or about a raptor  but it kind of fits...

Pinch Me by Barenaked Ladies - Still celebrating discovering Koko

Being For The Benefit of Mr. Kite from Across The Universe - Any excuse to include a Beatles song, even if it is a cover...

Watch of the week
The regular section in support of Joe (Stunt Cock) and his growing watch business Xupes.com.

Xupes has been trading for over 2 years and  Joe has recently developed some great contacts in the trade which enables him to pick up surplus stock and sell them at great prices. Mrs B is a regular purchaser from his jewellery section, going self service once she finally realised that her husband is not the jewellery buying type….


Xupes price £  5,995.00
RRP£10,600.00

An unworn condition Breitling Bentley MKIV 19 Complications SS/Platinum bezel mens watch on brown crocodile leather strap with stainless steel deployment buckle. This is the mens 42mm model. This particular model is now discontinued so set to be a collectors piece for the future. The watch is in excellent unworn overall condition complete with boxes, manuals, and guarantee stamped and dated 1st June 2011 (Under manufacturers warranty for 2 years). 24 months Xupes warranty included. The strap will fit up to a 8.00 inch wrist.

Photo Finish

Sating off with Pictures taken using The Beast in Wales
A rose by every other name....

Like a scene from the battle of Britain...

"daa, da, da, da, da, da, da, da"

So its hands over your nose and...

"Chocks away Ginger"

 "I'm hit, I'm hit, I'm going down....It was nice
flying with you old boy..." 

Red kites make this flying malarkey look like a breeze ....

Red Kite at night Shepherds delight....

Red Kite in the morning Shepherds warning....

I found it much easier to swing lazily at the ball and let
Alfie take it up the beach for me....

Did I mention the barn we rented was a bit remote?
Would you like to borrow some binoculars?
It's not all over until the fat Dolphine dives...
As promised last week Mrs B and Mega Mini Beast with some shots from the holiday










And as a Bonus Mrs B's picture of a Red Kite using Carl's Canon Camera


Rooney Redkite
It had to be a straight red card - for this two footed tackle

20 comments:

  1. Gorgeous photography, as always.

    And I have to say, it's not every day that I hear about the Barenaked Ladies and french animal sex all in the same conversation. Major kudos to you for that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm confused. Are Red Kites birds or dinosaurs? NOTE: I'm being deliberately dense. I know a raptor is a type of bird: hawk, eagle, falcon, probably not parrots, NOT pigeons (which belong to the family of 'craptors'), etc.
    But, I always like a good sex scene, animal or otherwise (especially with me in it).

    ReplyDelete
  3. Beautiful flowers!
    alphabetalife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey! Another "Off on a Tangent" blogger! Love, love, love it.

    And now I feel so much less alone.

    Now when I tap the microphone of my life and say "Hey, is anybody out there?", I'll take comfort in knowing you are!

    Great pictures!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lost.in.Idaho said...
    Gorgeous photography, as always.

    And I have to say, it's not every day that I hear about the Barenaked Ladies and french animal sex all in the same conversation. Major kudos to you for that.
    I’m shocked, you are obviously not hanging about the right conversations….

    ReplyDelete
  6. Al Penwasser said...
    I'm confused. Are Red Kites birds or dinosaurs? NOTE: I'm being deliberately dense. I know a raptor is a type of bird: hawk, eagle, falcon, probably not parrots, NOT pigeons (which belong to the family of 'craptors'), etc.
    But, I always like a good sex scene, animal or otherwise (especially with me in it).

    So that explains why you have that pet ownership prevention order against you…..

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jessica Thompson said...
    Beautiful flowers!
    Mrs B and Mega Mini Beast will be pleased that you are a fan of their photo’s…The Beast and I will obviously sulk

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jenny said...
    Hey! Another "Off on a Tangent" blogger! Love, love, love it.
    I’m a big fan of tangents, they have such a wonderful flavour and all that lovely juice …sorry I digress

    And now I feel so much less alone.
    I take it that’s’ the end of your Great Garbo and Marlene Dietrich impressions, I thought they were very good….but I had difficulty distinguishing one from the other…. Which leaves me with a question, can a schizophrenic every be truly alone….Currently I’m in two minds about the answer….

    Now when I tap the microphone of my life and say "Hey, is anybody out there?", I'll take comfort in knowing you are!

    Only in good weather and when you remember to leave some food at the back door

    Great pictures!
    Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  9. THANK YOU FOR HAVING US TO STAY! And the photos look even better on the blog than they did on the big screen! Hoping Blondie is going to feature next time, with the manky wig and sunnies of course.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh my goodness! My dearest apologies for being so late. I've been severely under the weather & out of commission for days. I even finally made it here yesterday, but I was so keeled over in achieness, I was struggling to try to type.

    These pictures are amazing, as lost in idaho said, as usual!

    That picture of you & Alfie is a classic too!

    That's just saddening about the phone. One of my biggest fears. I need my smartphone to breathe or I would hyperventilate. I guess I shouldn't be using it as an oxygen mask then, huh?

    You learn something new everyday. Birds that descend from velociraptors. Well, that's just awesome. I love rare & exotic birds.

    I also recently got to see some dolphins up close & personal while down in Florida, just casually swimming through the water off the docks of where my uncle is moving to.

    That part about the killer dolphins may not be as silly as some would think. I saw a TV show a few years back that showed footage of a school of dolphins attacking a bunch of humans, attempting to bring them down & keep them underwater. Sacred the damn hell out of me. I'll never be trying to swim with those things now!

    Beautiful watch as well! And again, my sincerest apologies for being so late. It's been a hell week of sickness, extreme discomfort, & excessive sleep, and it's still not over.

    ReplyDelete
  11. skipperthewonderhorse said...
    THANK YOU FOR HAVING US TO STAY! And the photos look even better on the blog than they did on the big screen! Hoping Blondie is going to feature next time, with the manky wig and sunnies of course.
    It was great seeing you guys and being able to pay back a very small part of the wonderful hospitality you have shown us over the years….Don’t worry Blondie will make the next blog

    ReplyDelete
  12. LilPixi said...

    Oh my goodness! My dearest apologies for being so late. I've been severely under the weather & out of commission for days. I even finally made it here yesterday, but I was so keeled over in achieness, I was struggling to try to type.
    Keeling over in achieness is pretty much de rigueur for visitors to the BlackLOG…and young lady stop with the apologising, unless you are suffering from Autoenglishisation syndrome (an illness that slowly turns foreigners English) in which case carry on. As a warning you will soon start to suffer some other typically English symptoms including:-

    • A sudden and compelling need to talk about the weather;

    • A fixation on joining the back of any queue, even if it turns out to be one person standing around minding their own business;

    • Moaning about stuff, especially the weather and always being at the back of a queue….

    • And asking questions like “What are we queuing for?”


    That's just saddening about the phone. One of my biggest fears. I need my smartphone to breathe or I would hyperventilate. I guess I shouldn't be using it as an oxygen mask then, huh?
    Your recent slow recovery from your bouts of illness, would indicate that your phones Oxygen Mask App might need an update. The next blog will contain an update on the health of Stinky Phone

    You learn something new everyday. Birds that descend from velociraptors.
    And there was me thinking that birds descend from the sky…..

    I also recently got to see some dolphins up close & personal while down in Florida, just casually swimming through the water off the docks of where my uncle is moving to.
    How did the Dolphins react to you casually swimming through their water??….I now have a vision of your uncle “sitting on the dock of the bay” while singing…

    I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
    Watching lilpixie swim away
    Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
    Watching lilpixie swim back again this way


    That part about the killer dolphins may not be as silly as some would think. I saw a TV show a few years back that showed footage of a school of dolphins attacking a bunch of humans, attempting to bring them down & keep them underwater. Scared the damn hell out of me. I'll never be trying to swim with those things now!
    Don’t worry, I think I saw that documentary and if it was the same one, the humans were all Chavs(I.e. they all had very strong accents and came from places like Boston, Connecticut, Rhode Island, parts of New Hampshah, Maine, Jersey & New Yawk…nuff said….), so the dolphins, in this case, were trying to do humanity a service…. You might want to keep your sister away from them though....

    Beautiful watch as well! And again, my sincerest apologies for being so late.
    This sounds like the perfect “time” to mention that it sounds like you need a new watch….

    It's been a hell week of sickness, extreme discomfort, & excessive sleep, and it's still not over.
    Your not turning into an English cat are you?

    All you need is some black fur and you would be a dead ringer for Mischief…. If you find yourself sitting in the middle of the kitchen mewing loudly, for no particular discernable reason, then you are probably suffering from Turnanglopussy Psychosis….

    • Sickness, (she has always been a bit of a puker – I guess it’s how she keeps so trim) – Check

    • Extreme discomfort, (when she uses her claws to climb up my legs) - Check

    • Excessive sleep (about 23.5 hours a day) – Check

    • Apologises a lot (let’s get serious for a moment, we are talking cute fur balls they don’t feel the need to apologise) so today we have established that Mischief is not turning into a miniature LilPixie…..

    All joking apart I hope you feel (and probably more importantly start to get) better soon….

    ReplyDelete
  13. Amazing, incredible, beautiful and stunning...just a few words to describe the assortment of outstanding photos.

    Great post!
    Jenny

    ReplyDelete
  14. LOVE your photos this week. And, don't feel too bad about your phone; I once had to fish mine out of a toilet....It vibrated off of my bathroom counter into the toilet. I'm fairly unlucky.

    That watch is one of my favorites. I unsuccessfully tried to convince my ex to buy it when I was living in Germany.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Pearson Report said...
    Amazing, incredible, beautiful and stunning...just a few words to describe the assortment of outstanding photos.

    Great post!
    Jenny

    Thank you Jenny, glad you liked it

    ReplyDelete
  16. Brooke said...
    LOVE your photos this week.
    Thank you, you should check out the last couple of posts, they had the best of our Wales trip, although those blogs don’t have the benefit of Mrs B’s and Mega Mini Beats Flower power collection….which are proving very popular.
    And, don't feel too bad about your phone; I once had to fish mine out of a toilet....It vibrated off of my bathroom counter into the toilet. I'm fairly unlucky.
    I hope you had the benefits of having a clean bowl….What bate did you use to catch your phone?

    That watch is one of my favorites. I unsuccessfully tried to convince my ex to buy it when I was living in Germany.
    Not surprising he ended up being your ex….what a bastard….Although don’t get any ideas Mrs B….

    ReplyDelete
  17. Great post, gorgeous photos, giggling just a bit over your very detailed description of morphing your smart phone into a stinky phone. You do know they really don't like puddles.

    I'm trying really hard but there is no way I can write a comment anywhere near the length of the essay you left me the other day. I will just say I love that action shot of man and dog on the beach. Made me smile

    ReplyDelete
  18. Mynx said...
    Great post, gorgeous photos, giggling just a bit over your very detailed description of morphing your smart phone into a stinky phone. You do know they really don't like puddles.
    I kind of worked that one out thanks….still it all ended well thanks to a washing machine (for stinky phones case) and some freezer action and he is back from the dead. See the next blog for full disclosure….

    I'm trying really hard but there is no way I can write a comment anywhere near the length of the essay you left me the other day.
    Just as well that it’s the quality and not the quantity that counts….

    I will just say I love that action shot of man and dog on the beach. Made me smile
    I must admit I really can’t claim to have taken that one….I was too busy wagging my tale…

    ReplyDelete
  19. The number of shark attacks are tiny and I would not be surprised to learn that more people are killed by dolphins every year. It’s just that dolphins :-_

    Are better at covering their tracks;
    Have better Alibis;
    Wrote the scripts for the Jaws films;


    Dolphins are terrifying. An animal that resembles a shark, has the capacity to brutally kill humans, but has won over the hearts of millions and has supreme intelligence? Sounds like a serial killer to me. A very cunning, charming animal that lures its victims in and then tears them apart, all the while framing a shark? Scary. I'm glad you survived, I'm still jealous of your trips, and I absolutely love your photography.

    ReplyDelete
  20. L-Kat said...
    The number of shark attacks are tiny and I would not be surprised to learn that more people are killed by dolphins every year. It’s just that dolphins :-_

    Are better at covering their tracks;
    Have better Alibis;
    Wrote the scripts for the Jaws films;

    Dolphins are terrifying. An animal that resembles a shark, has the capacity to brutally kill humans, but has won over the hearts of millions and has supreme intelligence? Sounds like a serial killer to me. A very cunning, charming animal that lures its victims in and then tears them apart, all the while framing a shark? Scary. I'm glad you survived, I'm still jealous of your trips, and I absolutely love your photography.

    I’m glad to see the campaign to exonerate the poor innocent sharks is gaining teeth....all be it very bad ones – we might need to ask the dolphins the number of their dentist.

    By my reckoning that's 2 historical comments down and you are closing in on your first clue (just three comments to go) to help you find out why I abandoned alcohol....

    ReplyDelete

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