BlackLOG

After last week's trip to Norfolk and what became The Scarlet otter-spotter-hell Mrs B was inspired to assist our little feathered friends (I think she secretly harbors a hope that an owl might accidently pop in...). So I did my bit and purchased the whole kit - stand, bath, feeders and even food. Put it altogether.....

So with the feeders up we are waiting for our first visitors……………….

Still waiting……………………

Still waiting…………………….

And…………..nothing….

I told Mrs B we should have put out some flyers…..

Still waiting….

Bl**dy feathered B*st*rds…

I even put out fresh water after the bath froze –
I had secretly hoped that one of them might land in there and get its little feet stuck allowing Mrs B a glimpse but the dirty little sods were not just avoiding our expensive food offerings they weren’t even dropping in for a courtesy wash…

It is a pitiful sight watching Mrs B gazing forlornly out of the kitchen window….

The most spectacular no show in history since the organisers failed to post the invites for the time travellers convention until a week after the event…..

Unsuitable Jobs
With Mrs B's staggering inability to see owls (which after some intensive training now seems to be stretching to all birds) I started thinking about unsuitable jobs for people :-

Mrs B the owl spotter

Me a writer

An electrophobic(1) electrician

An emetophobic(2) bulimic

An eremophobic(3) hermit

A geliophobic(4) comedian

A satanophobi (5) or even Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobic(6)- Devil worshiper

A hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobic (7)-librarian
A hobophobic (8)- Homeless shelter manager

A hydrophobic (9)- Lifeguard

A necrophobic (10)-Undertaker

A nudophobic(11)- Porn star.

An odontophobic(12)- Dentist.

A zoophobic(13)- Vet.

Feel free to let me know of any other unsuitable jobs that you can think of....

In case you needed some help with some of the phobias:-

(1) Electrophobia – Fear of electricity

(2) Emetophobia – Fear of being sick

(3) Eremophobia – Fear of being alone

(4) Geliophobia – Fear of laughter

(5) Satanophobia - Fear of Satan

(6) Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia - Fear of the number 666

(7) Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia - Fear of long words.
(8) Hobophobia - Fear of bums or beggars

(9) Hydrophobia - Fear of water

(10) Necrophobia - Fear of dead things.

(11) Nudophobia - Fear of nudity.

(12) Odontophobia - Fear of teeth.

(13) Zoophobia - Fear of animals.

Film night

At least we managed to fill the sofa for the first film night of the year. It turned into a good evening, managing to squeeze two films in: “Sherlock Holmes” and, as a bonus, the “Red Baron”. Mrs B did well, managing to stay awake for the entire first film but slipped away shortly after the Red Baron took flight…..

Everyone survived the Chilli Con Carne I put down in front of them (surprisingly they rather bravely even ate it) ….Mrs B having had to bail and spend most of the day in work…. I would give you the recipe but I’m not sure you would have all the junk that was in the cupboard. It is amazing how many of the chilli and herb jars that I saw in the cupboard, before I went to the shops, turned out to be empty when I went to use them. I would like to blame Mrs B for this but since I have previous* …..Still bucket loads of vintage mature Worcestershire sauce and loads of garlic covers a multitude of sins….

* Before sentencing and in the spirit of full disclosure I would like the following felonies taken into account

Not putting the toilet seat down**
Leaving used towels everywhere but the bathroom radiator
Leaving toenail polish marks on the….. no wait that was Mrs B

** I think this is unfair, how come it is ok for the ladies to leave the toilet lid up but it is a repugnant crime for a man to leave the seat up....

We weren’t so lucky with the chocolates I got out. I had been given them for Christmas (I shall withhold names to protect the guilty, but guys - who gives someone who does not drink, chocolate liqueurs?) We found that our friends Mark and Lisa were willing to help out and tucked in with gusto…..only they didn’t finish the first one let alone the box. The liqueurs had dried out and when we checked the sell by date it was early last year….

Sniff

Sniff

Hmmm, is that the wiff of a previous year’s Christmas present being recycled.......

I have a feeling even the most ardent alcoholic would finish off their stocks of meths and furniture polish before reluctantly turning to these chocolate disasters….If you want to test my theory, next time you are out and happen to have a box of Chocolate liqueurs and a can of furniture polish on you and you come across a Wino offer him the choice…..All I’m saying is don’t be surprised if the Wino has no need to shine his turds for the next week or so.....
Energy watch
Monitoring our way to a fortune (or not) with our Solar Panels

KW Produced so far - 150

This has earned us approximately – £63.93 so far

7KW generated in the week

Record of the week

Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown) by the Beatles - Well not so much flown as never arrived....

Birds by Aztec Camera - As a reminder of what we were hoping to see....

And Your Bird Can Sing by The Beatles - Now this bit is cruel – while we are not getting to see any birds we are certainly hearing them – Carl informed me they are likely to be Robins (Batmen obviously being busy)

Photo finish
With no local photos this week I've dug out some from the Norfolk weekend