The importance of a good nights sleep

Mrs B had a tough week. Organising her firm's Annual General Meeting has meant much of last week was spent getting up at 5am (around 3 hours after going to bed it seemed). As a good husband this has resulted in me getting up 20 minutes before her, to start the "Mrs B waking ritual". It's not complicated but the ritual is essential to make sure Mrs B fully wakes from her comatose state in order to become a fully functioning member of society. It mainly involves a large mug of tea but I have now introduced porridge to the equation. The cats don't like to miss out and in an attempt to get me down the stairs quicker, so that they can have their breakfast, they wind themselves around my legs - all very friendly but not helpful in the scheme of things. I give this as background to explain a little incident from the other night.

The scene - In the bedroom, two very sleepy people and two zzzzzzing cats (aside 1). I had just put out the light.

Mrs B - "Eeeeeekkkkk"

Me - "What, what, what's up?"

Mrs B - "I can't see"

Me - "What?"

I put on the light

Mrs B - "It's OK"

I put out the light

Mrs B - "Eeeeekkkk - I've gone blind in one eye"

Me - "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

Mischief -"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

McG - "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"

Mrs B - "Honest I couldn't seezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

McG - "ZZZZZZ

Moments later

Radio - "It's 4.40 in the morning....."

Me - "Oh god no..........whimper, whimper"

Mrs B - "zzzzzzzzzz"

McG - "Yawn, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

Mischief - "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

This probably explains what happened a few days later.

In an attempt to improve my stretchiness I had booked a private Yoga class. Apart from the excruciating pain and having no one else to hide behind, it all went very well (aside 2). That is, until the relaxation part at the end. I put it down to early onset of rigor mortis or possibly a temporary paralysis brought on by way of too much bending and stretching without giving my body six months advance warning, in writing. I'll let you be the judge.....

Lorna - my Yoga instructress (in my mind that makes Lorna a Yogaress?), "....'and you can bring back awareness to your extremities"

Me - nothing

Yogaress - "and you can bring back awareness to your extremities"

Me - zzzzzzzzzz (allegedly)

Yogaress - packing up her stuff noisily

Me - zzzzzzzzzzz(again allegedly)

Yogaress - "and you can bring back awareness to your extremities"

Me - slight movement as paralysis passes

I put it to you that I was just taking things nice and slow....

It's all very well showing you how to get into a position, but the Yoga books really should show you how to get out of it again.

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1) They are excellent at zzzzzz,not far off world championship standard. They can often be seen putting in 22 to 23 hours a day hard practice. Mrs B gets very jealous and I'm sure prods them while I'm not looking, to wake them up

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McG putting in 22 hours worth of practice for the sleeping while standing up world Championships

2) To be honest the cats didn't help much, taking turns to peer through the living room door with superior "what's all the fuss about?" expressions. "We can lick parts of the body that you can't evan reach with your hands". Being heckled by my own cats, how bad is that?

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Call that a stretch....