Monday 14 December 2009

The Beasts luck runs out and Mrs B's Christmas Blues

My luck at getting the Beast into gigs ran out last week. We were at Wembley Arena to see Eddie Izzard – so not actually a music gig. The bigger the venue the harder it is to get a camera in. I had done my normal trick of putting the small lens on and when asked by Security, I fessed up about the camera. I showed it to security and they did not have a problem with it, but still insisted on searching the rest of my bag. Damn. Now interestingly, they took the lens off me for safe keeping but left me with the camera (which is why I have some photos of the event but nothing spectacular) I got marched through to the other end of the arena and watched it being locked away in a cupboard, it felt a bit like being at school when you get something confiscated and won't get it back to the end of the day.

 It turns out that I should have got my friend Kirsty to take the Beast in for me. She and our other friend Joe were running late and ended up missing the first 15 minutes of the show (more about their time keeping next week). As well as stopping people bringing in camera, recording equipment, guns, amo etc they get very funny about people bring in food and drink. So imagine our surprise when Kirsty and Joe turned up and Kirsty pulled a plastic bottle of water, not just a small bottle of water but a huge 1 1/2 litre bottle…I asked her how she had got it passed Security. It went like this:

Kirsty walked up to the Security with the bottle of water at the top of her bag. (In truth it was more like a suit case) what do you women carry in your bags. It's why I have pockets.....Oh and rucksacks for anything that won't fit in our pockets.....Oh,Oh (Thats' a doube Oh) and Mrs Bs handbag for any overflow from my pockets and rucksack....

She took the bottle out of the bag in front of the guard and then handed the bag over which was given a thorough going over.

All the time Kirsty stood clutching the huge bottle of water in front of her. (What was she going to do with it offer to wash Eddie Izzard with it)

The now searched bag was handed back to Kirsty who placed the bottle back into it and waltzed off passed the security guard.

Now that’s true magic - The ability to hide things in open sight.

For the record, Eddie was fantastic and I am relieved to report he did not cross-dress for once much to my relief, or get washed by Kirsty for that matter. The show was so funny that it actually hurt…..


I love the 50mm lens on the beast but it certainly
does not cut the mustard when it comes to taking
shots in large venues.

Christmas Blues
Mrs B has decided to drop out of all future Secret Santa lunches at her work after a second disastrous year. Last year all the presents were given out and there was one little girl who was left tearful and with nothing. The Secret Santa who had drawn Mrs B had not got around to getting the present. It arrived a couple of days later but to be honest the moment had gone. This year it was even worse, with everyone picking up large boxes of chocolates, nail varnish (nor sure that would have done it for me) and other interesting gifts, Mrs B opened her present to find three cotton handkerchiefs - a distraught Mrs B declared “What am I? Eighty?” I'm glad I found out her reaction as it gave me the opportunity to take back the box of serviettes that I had thought she might like……

Who would guess that getting blog awards would be such hard work?
I currently have awards for the BlackLOG stacking up like planes waiting to land at Heathrow during an industrial strike. It’s not that I’m ungrateful, it’s just that I’m struggling to find the time to do the paperwork that goes with them. I never realised that getting awards would be such hard work. I will attempt to find some time to deal with them, I do appreciate them honest.

Canadian Citizenship
Apparently I spoke too soon about Mitch and his Canadian citizenship. To complete the process all Mitch had to do was leave Canada and come back in again. How hard can that be?

Mitch had been having a bit of a muck around with the guard at the Canadian border until he handed over his passport:

US Customs official :- “You have a problem.”

Mitch :– “It’s not that bad becoming a Canadian.“

US Customs official :- “You still have a US visa waiver in the back of your passport.”

Mitch :- “They must have forgotten to take the visa out last time I came through. “

US Customs official :- “Can you prove that you have not been living in America all this time?”

Mitch :- “Yes.”

US Customs official :- “How? ”

Mitch :- “Well if I have been living in America all this time I would not be entering into America but leaving it.“

This took a little while to sink in and needed a phone call to his supervisor before he would accept the logic. Not to be beaten though he carried on:

US Customs official :- “Do you have a middle name Mr Graham?”

Mitch :- “No“

US Customs official :- “I see.”

Mitch :- “Is there a further problem?”

US Customs official :- “Yes, there is a arrest warrant outstanding for a Mitch Graham.”

Mitch :- “Do you have a photograph of this person?”

US Customs official :- “Yes”

Mitch :- “Does it look like me?”

US Customs official :- “No.”

Mitch :- “Can I go now?”

US Customs official :- “I guess so, I’ll just have to check with my supervisor.”

Mitch :- “Arrrgghhh.”

I’ll leave you with some photos of the weekend that we have just returned from at my favourite house, “Newark Park”, and one of my favourite cities, Bath. More details and pictures next week…

For the record I’m going to change the weekly publication date from a Friday to a Monday.



Can you tell what it is?
see further down for answer...



"Newark Park one of my favourite places to stay"


Dawn at Newark Park, it was almost
worth getting out of bed for


Peacocks at Newark Park. There is a thriving
colony of 7 of these wondrous birds.



Baby peackock. Not as handsome as it's father but slightly
better looking then it's mother. I get the feeling that female
peacocks should spend more time on their make up in
the mornings


Another dawn shot, it looks more like an alian invasion to me


The answer to the question from earlier
is an owl in Bath high street


Not just one but two...well one and a half

I've been offered a couple of commissions on the back of my recent photo's, which is really incredible for a self confessed snapper, my idea of composing a shot is lift camera click button. I have a sneaky feeling they would be happy for the beast to turn up without me but as its legal guardian I’m afraid In come with the package...

Hope to see you here next week....

24 comments:

  1. I enjoyed your blog today!

    Thanks also for visiting Secret Story Time.

    Secretia

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice photos. It is irritating and at the same time frightening to be questioned by a border U.S. guard. When we go into the U.S. they always ask if I have plans to move to the U.S. and my response is "what the f&^%k for? They don't seem to comprehend that not everyone wants to make a run for the border. (hehe)

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  3. Too bad about the beast, I assume you got your lens back afterwards with no problem? I've only seen one comedy special on TV with Eddie Izzard (thanks BBC America!) but I found him quite funny. A lot of Americans don't "get" British humor...I pity them. I especially like Little Britain. :)

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  4. Harry Potter has given me a new appreciation for owls.

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  5. Okay. LOVE Eddie Izzard. He's on Twitter, ya know. Sometimes I lurk to see what country he's in and what he's saying.

    Don't blame Mrs. B one bit. I'd be Grinch-ing about Christmas at work at this point, too.

    The Canadian border dialogue was hilarious. That guy was not the smartest crayon in the box. This was a Canadian guard...right??

    I knew it was an owl. (10 points) Didn't realize how cute he was...love the golden eyes.

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  6. Mrs B's Secrete Santa sounds very up market and highly organised - I mean Names!

    We just have to spend a £1.00 (actually it's quite difficult to find something for just that amount, even in Wilkinsons) and stick it in the sack. At the Staff Christmas Lunch, if you've brought a present, you then get to pull one out of the sack - simples. If people forget, tough!

    I didn't know peacocks could sit in trees. Have only ever seen them on the ground.

    Is Newark the place you used to go to as a child, or is that somewhere else. I just remember it being large.

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  7. Gorgeous pictures! Sunsets are my fav.

    What kind of camera do you use?

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  8. Secretia
    I enjoyed your blog today!

    Thanks also for visiting Secret Story Time.

    Secretia


    Pleased to hear that you enjoyed this weeks BlackLOG drop in any time

    ReplyDelete
  9. WannabeVirginia W.
    Nice photos. It is irritating and at the same time frightening to be questioned by a border U.S. guard. When we go into the U.S. they always ask if I have plans to move to the U.S. and my response is "what the f&^%k for? They don't seem to comprehend that not everyone wants to make a run for the border. (hehe)
    On one of our first trips to the states, many years ago, Mrs B declared our stash of dairy milk chocolate (even at a young age we realised how bad American chocolate is) at customs. We practically got strip searched....

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  10. Gingerella
    Too bad about the beast, I assume you got your lens back afterwards with no problem? I certainly did, fortunately they had a crèche for cameras and large lenses – I can’t help but think I was not the first to try and bring in a big camera. What makes me laugh is that some of the smaller cameras have almost as good a range.

    I’ve only seen one comedy special on TV with Eddie Izzard (thanks BBC America!) but I found him quite funny. A lot of Americans don't "get" British humor...I pity them. I especially like Little Britain. :) Eddie is fantastic, I love the way he goes off in lots of different directions and then draws all the threads back together…Do you watch the American version of Little Britain or the original British version?

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  11. Nikki
    Harry Potter has given me a new appreciation for owls.
    Owls are fantastic creatures as long as you don’t watch them regurgitate dinner

    ReplyDelete
  12. Kathryn said
    Okay. LOVE Eddie Izzard. He's on Twitter, ya know. Sometimes I lurk to see what country he's in and what he's saying. I'm impressed that he has run 43 marathons in 51 days and still looks a bit lardy while I managed it with out any running

    Don't blame Mrs. B one bit. I'd be Grinch-ing about Christmas at work at this point, too.Bah Humbug is all I can say

    The Canadian border dialogue was hilarious. That guy was not the smartest crayon in the box. This was a Canadian guard...right??Sadly for you I'm afraid I have to report that he was 100% American

    I knew it was an owl. (10 points) Didn't realize how cute he was...love the golden eyes.Well done you now for a bonus can you tell me what type of owl it is?

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  13. Imo
    Mrs B's Secrete Santa sounds very up market and highly organised - I mean Names!

    We just have to spend a £1.00 (actually it's quite difficult to find something for just that amount, even in Wilkinsons) and stick it in the sack. At the Staff Christmas Lunch, if you've brought a present, you then get to pull one out of the sack - simples. If people forget, tough!
    Harsh but fair

    I didn't know peacocks could sit in trees. have only ever seen them on the ground. Since peacocks don't have a good credit rating and so can't even afford DFS sofas they have to sit somewhere

    Is Newark the place you used to go to as a child, or is that somewhere else. I just remember it being large. It certainly is the place, good memory – I should be publishing some more shots of the place next week

    ReplyDelete
  14. Candice
    Gorgeous pictures! Sunsets are my fav.
    Thank you, when they come off they can be spectacular

    What kind of camera do you use?
    It's a Nikon D700 with the following lenses
    - 50mm 1.4
    - 70-200mm 2.8 (which turns it into the beast)
    - 14-24mm 2.8

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  15. I had a thoughtful and brilliant post all composed in my head... but then I got hypnotized by the owl... now all I can think of to say is HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    (great shots as always! The beast and you work well together!)

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  16. PI
    Sorry to disturb your pattern of thought, those eyes do draw you in....The beast is certainly worth its weight in gold and that’s a lot of gold

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  17. I hate Customs officials. Those people are always so grumpy. A Polish guard quizzed me a couple of months ago. He wouldn't accept the fact that I had only been in his country for 20 minutes. I was there on a layover. It was rather humorous/stupid.

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  18. been concentrating on facebook, so a bit lax about blogging, but obviously reading yours, couldn't miss! My boys think the music addition is ice-cool, they thought initially I was playing my own music and were aghast that I had such good taste. Sadly I had to confess it was your taste. The beast's performance gets better and better, I wonder how much credit we should give to the trainer/handler? Surely most must go to the performer? Who knows. Wishing both of you, and Mrs B, a peaceful and restful Christmas and New Year. Obviously, if you are passing, we would love to see you. As you seem to be travelling the length and breadth of the nation this seems like a real possibility. It is bloody freezing here, snow up to our knees and ice hanging everywhere. Don't you just want to join us?

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  19. Brilliant post!! :) Hard luck about the Beast. Tis a great story though lol

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  20. Brook
    I hate Customs officials. Those people are always so grumpy. A Polish guard quizzed me a couple of months ago. He wouldn't accept the fact that I had only been in his country for 20 minutes. I was there on a layover. It was rather humorous/stupid.

    I put the grumpiness of custom officials down to having to see lots of holidaymakers while they are working.

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  21. I much prefer the original British version! The American ones are lame.

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  22. skipperthewonderhorse
    been concentrating on facebook, so a bit lax about blogging, but obviously reading yours, couldn't miss! My boys think the music addition is ice-cool, they thought initially I was playing my own music and were aghast that I had such good taste. Sadly I had to confess it was your taste. And they say the young know nothing...

    The beast's performance gets better and better, I wonder how much credit we should give to the trainer-handler? Surely most must go to the performer? Who knows.Sadly true, but I'm happy to ride the beast coat tails

    Wishing both of you, and Mrs B, a peaceful and restful Christmas and New Year. Obviously, if you are passing, we would love to see you. As you seem to be travelling the length and breadth of the nation this seems like a real possibility. It is bloody freezing here, snow up to our knees and ice hanging everywhere. Don't you just want to join us?Would love to drop in but off skiing in France on Boxing day. Will catch up in the New year. Hope you guys have a great Christmas

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  23. Smileyfreak
    Brilliant post!! :) Hard luck about the Beast. Tis a great story though lol
    No worries the Beast was returned safe and sound and lives to click another day

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  24. Gingerella
    I much prefer the original British version! The American ones are lame. It's strange but there are some wicked american shows at the moment, Californication, House ,Hung and all feature excellent humour. Much better than most recent British shows

    ReplyDelete

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