For those of you interested in the power behind the pictures on the BlackLOG, this week you get the chance to meet The Beast and his friends ... if that’s not your thing, then hang on in there for Tom Jones and other BlackLOG regular sections
Warning, for those of you of a delicate persuasion the following contain shots of The Beast, not only wearing garments from his extensive wardrobe but also in the first one instance stark naked….
The Beast in the style of fashion
The Beast is a Nikon D700 and was adopted in February 2008 from the Stanstead airport home for waywards electrical goods
Warning, for those of you of a delicate persuasion the following contain shots of The Beast, not only wearing garments from his extensive wardrobe but also in the first one instance stark naked….
The Beast in the style of fashion
The Beast is a Nikon D700 and was adopted in February 2008 from the Stanstead airport home for waywards electrical goods
stansteaD
aIrport
electriX
insitute fOr
orphoNed
goodS
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A stripped down version of The Beast in his basic form along with his Battery Grip which is the camera equivalent of the 1980’s shoulder pads... |
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| Shoulder pads in place - eat your heart out Krystle Carrington |
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The Beast's equivalent of a Mini Skirt The Nikon 50mm F1.4 lens, for when The Beast is feeling like a tart and wants to get up-close and personal. Likes low light and soft music.. |
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| Nikon 105mm Micro Lens F2.8 like a clutch bag for taking tiny objects.... |
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Nikon 14-24mm F2.8 Looks like to a fisheye lens but gives fantastic wide angle shots, akin to the world’s best handbag - gets almost everything in..... |
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Nikon 70 - 200mm F2.8 The little black dress, usable for any occaions ... |
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Nikon 70 - 200mm F2.8 with Nikon 2x Converter III Making it a 140 - 400 F.5.6 A little black Number with accessories ... |
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Nikon 300mm F2.8mm The fashion equivalent of Stiletto shoes for when you need that extra reach... |
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| Nikon 300mm F2.8mm with the Nikon 2x converter III The Stilettos have just become a Porn Star Shoes. |
Main Support
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Manfrotto 055CXPR04 tripod With a 468MGRC0 hydrostatic ball head Particularly useful when The Beast is tottering around on Porn Shoe Stars.... |
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Manfrotto 393 gimbal head on a Manfrotto monopod very useful for leaning on like a shepherd when you are rounding up the shots.... |
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| Nikon SB-900 When The Beast wants to light up a room |
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Power and memory - In a fashion sense hair straightners and a little black book for taking down the details.... |
And The Beast's friends
Mega Mini Beast and Mini Beast :-
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| Mega Mini Beast Panasonic FZ100 with an inbuilt 25 - 600 Zoom . Mrs B's normal weapon of choice |
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| Mega Mini Beast extended to the full 600mm... |
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Mega Mini Beast with an extension which takes it to a fairly incredible 1020mm lens, not bad for little camera. |
Mini Beast
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Mini Beast - Panasonic GF1 with 20mm Pancake lens Useful for taking pictures of The Beast and Mega Mini Beast together... |
Tom Jones
This week it was Tom Jones at Audley End, certainly not my choice but since I drag Mrs B along to many weird and wonderful shows and given that I point blank refuse to watch Ballet (There are some lines in the sand you should never cross), I try and make concessions where I can. At least, unlike Kylie, Mrs B made this one….
I’m shocked to say, I was actually impressed by the aging lothario. 71 and his voice is still strong - alright so the hip thrusts were more laughable than sexual and with his arthritic movements he was probably hit by more pairs of discarded knickers than when he was more mobile. He did appear to have a senior moment and vanish part way through one of his songs - I’m still trying to work out if he had to nip off and empty his incontinent pants (which would also account for his Billy Connolly style dance routine) or he just forgot where he was and popped out to make a cup of tea….
Show me the sunny
I’m shocked to say, I was actually impressed by the aging lothario. 71 and his voice is still strong - alright so the hip thrusts were more laughable than sexual and with his arthritic movements he was probably hit by more pairs of discarded knickers than when he was more mobile. He did appear to have a senior moment and vanish part way through one of his songs - I’m still trying to work out if he had to nip off and empty his incontinent pants (which would also account for his Billy Connolly style dance routine) or he just forgot where he was and popped out to make a cup of tea….
The support was pretty good, a local girl from just along the road in Brentwood, Laddra Chapman. It was the opposite end of the age spectrum though, early 20’s with lots of angst about failed relationships and dip shit boyfriends….Oh what fun it must be to be young and in love with a new person every week, as you pulverize your way through one wrecked relationship to the next…..
Competition winner
Despite my promise to stay away from competative blogging "A Daft Scots Lass" drew me in and even better proved to have wonderful taste and selected my long winded caption.
Click on the button below and you can visit South Africa and see the winning entry...
Even better she has agreed to expose her unsuspecting readers to my long winded pros in her next Friday Follower Feature....
Competition winner
Despite my promise to stay away from competative blogging "A Daft Scots Lass" drew me in and even better proved to have wonderful taste and selected my long winded caption.
Click on the button below and you can visit South Africa and see the winning entry...
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Monitoring our way to a fortune (or not) with our Solar Panels
KW Produced so far – 2231
KW generated in the last week – 100
This has earned us approximately – £1114
Record of the week
The Beast by Blondie - Does what it says o the tin.....
Fashion by Damon Albarn and David Bowie -
Fashion – pictures to the left
Fashion – pictures to the right
We are the camera squad
And we're taking your town
Click-Click - Click-Click
Listen to me - Don't listen to me
Talk to me - Don't talk to me
Take pictures of you - Don't take pictures of you
No - Click-Click - Click-Click
My Camera Never Lies by Bucks Fizz - although it can tell white lies occasionally
It's Not Unusual by Tom Jones - I guess it's not unusual to forget what you're doing once you get into your 70's...
Fallen From Grace (Fish Face) by Leddra Chapman - I'm only speculating but let me guess, this is probably a song about yet another failed relationship...
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Watch of the week
The regular section in support of Joe (Stunt Cock) and his growing watch business Xupes
Xupes has been trading for over 2 years and Joe has recently developed some great contacts in the trade which enables him to pick up surplus stock and sell them at great prices. Mrs B is a regular purchaser from his jewellery section, going self service once she finally realised that her husband is not the jewellery buying type….
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Photo Finish
In case you haven't had had enough pictures this week I'll finish you off with some Tom Jones, Leddra Chapman and some birthday cards which I meant to post a few weeks back....
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| Tom Jones is banned after attempting to perform with a naked Sooty.... |
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| Tom Jones - "SexBomb" Just waiting to go off and make a nice cup of tea.. |
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| Looks like those incontinent pants are filling nicely Tom.... |
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| Laddra Chapman, despite being cheerful and bubbly she doesn't ever seem to attract the right sort of man... On the plus side this does helps with her song content.... |
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A couple of birthday cards Mrs B got for me aren’t they great....? |
Hope to see you next week.....
That is one nice camera.
ReplyDeleteHoly crap on a stick, what a blog post! I seriously had a bloggasm
ReplyDeletethe first one!
ReplyDeleteNiel is it me or is has there been a serious extension of the camera wardrobe???
ReplyDeleteSorry I missed you call yesterday. Things were pretty hectic given it was the first day back. Def catch up over lunch another time though.
Joe
Oilfield Trash said...
ReplyDeleteThat is one nice camera.
Just think how good the photo’s it could produce if someone with a good eye and understanding of photography got hold of it….
Clueless Dolphin said...
ReplyDeleteHoly crap on a stick, what a blog post! I seriously had a bloggasm
Yeah, I noticed, it’s taken ages for me to clear it up….
Stunt Cock said...
ReplyDeleteNiel is it me or is has there been a serious extension of the camera wardrobe???
Nothing new since the 300mm Stiletto shoes, I just don’t carry it all around as once….I was hoping to get the local paper to give me a photo pass for V so I could take the 300mm (No way could I try and sneak that in…) but the sods just blanked my email request….
Sorry I missed you call yesterday. Things were pretty hectic given it was the first day back. Def catch up over lunch another time though.
Joe
No worries, I didn’t expect you would have time but thought I would put the call in….
Wow, definately a fabulous toy and can I say I love the colour of your couch too.
ReplyDeleteI think Tom Jones would have been a lot of fun to go to. He looks pretty good for 71.
The cat cards are just too cute too
i loved the vintagish design of the cam
ReplyDeleteWow to the camera expose! I wouldn't know where to begin and always admire the lucky person with all these gadgets that does.
ReplyDeleteSome singers really need to retire - memo to Tom...
I'm looking forward to more of your fantastic photos now that I know what lurks behind the scene.
Cheers, Jenny
I don't think I'd be able to carry that camera with all the paraphenalia let alone get a good shot with it all.
ReplyDeleteReally lovely camera, dude.
You're going to be featured this Friday on my wee blog.
Love Connelly and the incontinence knickers!
Mynx said...
ReplyDeleteWow, definitely a fabulous toy and can I say I love the colour of your couch too.
You certainly can say you love the colour, especaly as it was my choice. I won’t however tell The Beast that you called him a toy he would be devastated…
I think Tom Jones would have been a lot of fun to go to. He looks pretty good for 71.
I would have no complaints if I looked like that at 71, although I would prefer a little less Botox and a lot more facial movement…
The cat cards are just too cute too
If the ginger one had been a bigger they would have been a perfect match….I don’t know where Mrs B find them
Diego Sousa said...
ReplyDeletei loved the vintagish design of the cam
There was me thinking that it was modern, I guess it is not slim and pocket sized but I like it all the more for that…
Pearson Report said...
ReplyDeleteWow to the camera expose! I wouldn't know where to begin and always admire the lucky person with all these gadgets that does.
Yes I do count myself as a lucky boy, but since I don’t drink or smoke I can indulge in a little bit of luxury….
Some singers really need to retire - memo to Tom...
Why is Tom going to round them up and tell them to stop….Oh you mean Tom…He’s really not that bad and can still sing and perform better than many people 2/3rds of his age…
I'm looking forward to more of your fantastic photos now that I know what lurks behind the scene.
Cheers, Jenny
So no pressure then….
A Daft Scots Lass said...
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'd be able to carry that camera with all the paraphenalia let alone get a good shot with it all.
The one really good thing about having a heavy camera I, when you take it out with you, you make sure you use it. None of that slip it into your pocket and forget you have it rubbish. Having a really good shock absorbent strap helps a lot as well…
Really lovely camera, dude.
Than You, I’ll pass on the compliments to the Beast, he will be chuffed
You're going to be featured this Friday on my wee blog.
I much appreciate that and also for winning your caption competition
Love Connelly and the incontinence knickers!
What’s not to love, I will always remember that sketch, I had tears rolling down my cheeks and aching sides when I first watched him do that routine
Yep, I really want a camera like The Beast. Alas, I only have something similar to the Mega Mini Beast. Sweet collection.
ReplyDeleteI'm also convinced you live at concerts. Under the stage or something, like a musical troll, whatever that is.
Hey thanks for all the comments!
ReplyDeleteThat camera set up is effing amazing. Trying to get me a decent set up like that. Right about now I have 8 dollars saved. Fuck...I have got a long way to go.
Brooke said...
ReplyDeleteYep, I really want a camera like The Beast. Alas, I only have something similar to the Mega Mini Beast. Sweet collection.
The Mega Mini Beast gives some great results, it does struggle in low light though, certainly compared to The Beast
I'm also convinced you live at concerts. Under the stage or something, like a musical troll, whatever that is.
Sometimes I wish I did, some of the drives across London can be brutal….A musical troll is either going to be a Trosical or a Musiroll, to be honest I would rather be a musical Elf, although come to think of it a MELF sounds even more dodgy than a Trosical
Melissa said...
ReplyDeleteHey thanks for all the comments!
That camera set up is effing amazing. Trying to get me a decent set up like that. Right about now I have 8 dollars saved. Fuck...I have got a long way to go.
True, but you have age on your side, I was into my 40’s before the Beast arrived in my life….
Wow, I am drooling over those cameras, esp. the beast. How can I possibly think I'm all bad ass now with my Canon Powershot?
ReplyDeleteThat is one old Tom Jones. He don't have to be young to rock your world?
I just rolled over reading that picture caption about the incontinent pants. Matches beautifully with the expression on his face.
DAMN, look at that watch!! Masterpiece! That is so cool.
Love the cards too.
I have to go over to the lasses blog. I'm having a hard time lately just trying to keep up with my regulars.
LilPixi said...
ReplyDeleteWow, I am drooling over those cameras, esp. the beast. How can I possibly think I'm all bad ass now with my Canon Powershot?
It’s not what uou have it’s what you do with it…I use The Beast for a total body work out….
That is one old Tom Jones. He don't have to be young to rock your world?
I’m not sure you can class Tom as Rock ‘N’ Roll these days more like Creak ‘N’ Groan….
I just rolled over reading that picture caption about the incontinent pants. Matches beautifully with the expression on his face.
At last someone gets it, I can always rely on you little Pixie….
DAMN, look at that watch!! Masterpiece! That is so cool.
I thought a bit blingy for my simple tastes…
Love the cards too.
They are awesome, Mrs B puts my card selection to shame
I have to go over to the lasses blog.
I seem to have hit a rich vein over there at the moment….Competition winner and soon to be featured follower I have to get it all in before she finds out how shallow the BlackLOG is.
I'm having a hard time lately just trying to keep up with my regulars.
I know what you mean, you haven’t been over to a lollipop World in ages…
This is totally perfect because I have cameras on the brain right now!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88
Damn, I'd say Tom Jones looks better now than he ever has. No homo.
ReplyDeleteI truly have lens envy.
ReplyDeleteOn the bright side, I don't look as much like a train wreck as Tom Jones.
Or maybe I do.
Crap.
I am in awe of your camera collection, sir. I can only assume you are a professional photographer, or serious full-time hobbyist with equipment like that. I hear Larry Flynt is still looking for his Ansel Adams...you might want to give him a call.
ReplyDeleteAnd you were right Polka Face by Lady Gaga effin rocks! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr8KiihK3ks I'm so sorry I ever doubted your polka rock street cred. =P
Bonnie said...
ReplyDeleteThis is totally perfect because I have cameras on the brain right now!
I hope you weren’t clocked by the Beast because that would cause some serious damage…..
Teh Evil Penguin said...
ReplyDeleteDamn, I'd say Tom Jones looks better now than he ever has. No homo.
I’m just glad he has let his hair gray naturally, looks a lot better as a badger than if he had gone for the black panther look - a bit like a male version of a cougar except it will sleep with anything from 17 – 99*
* Anything over that would be positively indecent, who wants to see a 100 year old Cougar….
Al Penwasser said...
ReplyDeleteI truly have lens envy.
On the bright side, I don't look as much like a train wreck as Tom Jones.
Or maybe I do.
Crap.
Don’t worry The Beast is none judgmental, if you can make it onto a stage he will take your picture
Static said...
ReplyDeleteI am in awe of your camera collection, sir. I can only assume you are a professional photographer, or serious full-time hobbyist with equipment like that.
Turns out I’m a professional hobbyist ….Don’t drink, don’t smoke I have to do something with my money….
I hear Larry Flynt is still looking for his Ansel Adams...you might want to give him a call.
Do you mean Anal Adams? Who instead of taking shots of the American West specialised in taking shots down under…..
And you were right Polka Face by Lady Gaga effin rocks! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr8KiihK3ks I'm so sorry I ever doubted your polka rock street cred. =P
I’m deeply distressed that you didn’t believe me….actually I’m even more deeply distressed after watching the video…it could be the death knell of western society as we know it.
What's new pussycat? Whoah, whoah...
ReplyDeleteMy what long lenses you have. My poor, sad D100 is jealous.
Dawn @Lighten Up! said...
ReplyDeleteWhat's new pussycat? Whoah, whoah...
Go-Cat has introduced a couple of new flavours – half chewed Blackbird and Masticated Robin….
My what long lenses you have. My poor, sad D100 is jealous.
It’s not what you have it’s what you do with it….
@ BlackLOG http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2Y7xqAlUHk.
ReplyDeleteStatic
ReplyDeletea bit of content warning next time I just threw up my lunch....diced carrots and keyboards do not make a great combination…
Saw Tom Jones at T in the Park a month ago, I have to say I was equally surprised. His voice hasn't changed a bit. If anything it's become even better with age.
ReplyDeleteCalamari said...
ReplyDeleteSaw Tom Jones at T in the Park a month ago, I have to say I was equally surprised. His voice hasn't changed a bit. If anything it's become even better with age.
So good in fact you have to ask if he has done a deal with the devil and there is a voice in his attic decaying and decrepit and waiting to escape and when it does everyone who hears it will turn to stone and be grateful for it, to avoid anymore audible suffering....