Thursday 16 February 2012

It would have been so much better if it was my phone that had been bugged



I’ve been treated to the joys of a stomach bug this week.  It’s an incredibly focusing experience -realising that it is imperative that you are within easy striking distance of the white porcelain throne.... The prospect of spending hours sitting in the Doctors' surgery surrounded by all that "other people" infection was not particularly appealing either.  Using my new found focus, in a Jedi-style that Yoda would have been proud of,  I discovered that our surgery offers a phone call service.  Not good if you have an interesting rash that you want to boast to your Doctor about or if you are a particularly sharing soul who doesn't like to keep ailments to themselves but great when you don’t want to find yourself in a fight to the death with expectant mothers* and pensioners**  over the limited facilities....

* That extra weight can put them up a couple of divisions in fighting class.

** They might not have sharp claws but those walking sticks and Zimmer frames can be lethal when Edith, Ethel, Reggie, Stan and co ... wield them in anger.

One quick phone call to mention the unmentionable and I was on my way to pick up a  sample bottle left at reception.  No instructions on how to use it though - are you meant to hover over it and:-

 a.  attempt the precision-bomb technique (not that easy when your backside is      
     like a particularly unstable time bomb....);

b.  poop and scoop; or even

c.  Bob a job (no Scouts required)
 
 Then a trip back to make a non-refundable (at least I hope it’s non-refundable) deposit....

Jobbie done...

Down to the wire
After a number of years of trying I finally managed to get Mrs B and the critically-acclaimed cop show “The Wire” in the same room. My triumph lasted less than 15 minutes, however, as she declared, after an opening salvo of language that would make a docker blush , “There is too much f#ck#ng swearing and it’s having a bad influence on me.” .....Point taken Mrs B.  Now where did I put that box set of Bagpuss....?

Snow Patrol 1
As we had snow last week I took the opportunity to take The Beast out fox-hunting. Some of you might remember the photos I got a few years back of the fox running up and down our road. After trailing around the local streets for around half an hour,yes; with not a sign of my vulpine friend, I returned home to discover in my absence he had left foot prints across our drive way, just meters from our front door. Now that’s just not playing fair ....

Guilty of maliciously leaving
foot prints in the snow....

Taken with The Beast
December 2009

Snow patrol 2
Despite the very worst efforts of the O2 ticket service and my upset stomach we got to see Snow Patrol this week.... I really can’t believe that O2 can get away with advertising*** their priority ticket service.... Since when did the worst tickets in a  venue become "priority"? 

*** Talking of which there are a couple of new unbelievable UK TV adverts that have caught my eye recently
  • The pay for your funeral now and die later plan....
Which informs us that with burial costs rising we should be worried that we won’t be able to afford our funeral in the future....So why not pay for it now....

At least I think it means that, unless I misinterpreted it and it is actually an advert for Exit, advising us to die now while you can still afford to or possibly even save money and bury yourself before you die. 

Yes it is true you can’t take it with you but I for one think you should at least enjoy it while you are here...
  • When there is blame you should make a claim....
Four supposed lawyers walk towards the camera wittering on about how they can get you loads of money for any accidents that you might have. One of them trips over their own feet and sprawls to the floor....

Who do they think they are going to sue?....themselves??? 


As for Snow Patrol, while I doubt they will be many people’s absolute favourite group, except perhaps aging Goths (they have a tendency to stray to the  morose), they have built up a decent back catalogue.   They also have a wonderful ability to build those sad songs up from a slow start into punchy anthems .  Gary Lightbody, while not the most stunning of frontmen, is entertaining and has a good repartee with the audience.


Watch of the week
The regular section in support of Joe (Stunt Cock) and his growing watch business Xupes. Joe mentioned that they had been getting a number of hits via the BlackLOG.

Xupes has been trading for over 2 years and  Joe has recently developed some great contacts in the trade which enables him to pick up surplus stock and sell them at great prices. Mrs B is a regular purchaser from his jewellery section, going self service once she finally realised that her husband is not the jewellery buying type…


IWC Portuguese Chronograph
Price £4,395
RRP £5,200
Saving    £   805


 Mens Portuguese Steel Chronograph watch, on a black crocodile strap with a Stainless Steel deployment clasp. This is the mens size measuring 42mm. The dial is White/Silver. The watch is complete with IWC Box & Papers. This watch is in excellent condition and has barely been worn.

Record of the week 
Footprints by Paul McCartney  - Yes mr Fox I have the measure of your Paws....

Just Say Yes by Snow Patrol - Oui

Shut Your Eyes by Snow Patrol - Can I trust you?

This Isn't Everything You Are by Snow Patrol - What more can there be?

Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol - But you just told me to shut them....

 Photo Finish

All pictures taken with the Mega Mini Beast

"Just Say Yes"
from
Up to now (2009)



"Called out in the Dark"
from
Fallen Empires (2011)


"Shut your Eyes"
from
Eyes Open (2006)


"Grazed Knee"
from
Final Straw (2004)



"When it's all over we still have to clean up"
from the 2001 album of the same name

Tune in next week for more sick (hopefuly not me sick) adventures

18 comments:

  1. You had to "lob one in", as it were? Yegads! And I thought I had achieved the zenith of precision when required to deliver a urine sample into a test tube.
    That's one package which won't be molested in the mail.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You probably need the services of Gillian Mckeith...
    Anyhow, I like Snow Patrol... Oh God.... it's the aging bit that hurts.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  3. I adore 'The Wire," although I had to watch the whole of the first series with the subtitles on, as all I could understand was the swearing and I was missing out on the plot. My husband, fortunately, didn't understand a word or he'd have been shocked.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That extra weight can put them up a couple of divisions in fighting class.

    Very true, but with the extra weight and all those hormones, I wouldn't want to tell an expectant mother this!

    No instructions on how to use it though

    Can you imagine what a crappy job it would be to write those instructions? harharhar

    I hope you're feeling better.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I certainly hope you are feeling better. I had a stomach bug last week and it was a miserable experience.

    There is a fox that lives in my neighborhood. I want to bring it home so my basset hound and it can be best friends just like in "The Fox and The Hound."

    ReplyDelete
  6. I've just become addicted to the Wire with the first series lasting all of a weekend...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Al Penwasser said...
    You had to "lob one in", as it were? Yegads! And I thought I had achieved the zenith of precision when required to deliver a urine sample into a test tube.
    I think they need to provide bigger specimen receptacles

    That's one package which won't be molested in the mail.
    You kind of hope that the shit hits the fan for anyone who does try and tamper with it....

    ReplyDelete
  8. Scarlet Blue said...
    You probably need the services of Gillian Mckeith...
    I’m not sure a diet of Haggis, deep fried Mars bars will help

    Anyhow, I like Snow Patrol... Oh God.... it's the aging bit that hurts.
    Sx

    They have been going since 1991...so there has to be a bit of ageing.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Zsaid...
    I adore 'The Wire," although I had to watch the whole of the first series with the subtitles on, as all I could understand was the swearing and I was missing out on the plot. My husband, fortunately, didn't understand a word or he'd have been shocked.
    Do they use beeps in the subtitles....I think I might have got away with it if I had put the Wire on after 9pm....

    ReplyDelete
  10. L-Kat said...
    That extra weight can put them up a couple of divisions in fighting class.

    Very true, but with the extra weight and all those hormones, I wouldn't want to tell an expectant mother this!
    I had forgotten about the mood swings from the hormones they can be sudden and violent.....certainly don’t want to take on those....


    No instructions on how to use it though

    Can you imagine what a crappy job it would be to write those instructions? Harharhar

    How about some drawn instructions or a video ...might end up being X rated though....

    I hope you're feeling better.
    I am finally starting to recover, thank you

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ally Gregory-Moore said...
    I certainly hope you are feeling better. I had a stomach bug last week and it was a miserable experience.
    It was the fact it lasted over 2 weeks that really got to me in the end – I think I wore out one of our toilets

    There is a fox that lives in my neighborhood. I want to bring it home so my basset hound and it can be best friends just like in "The Fox and The Hound."
    I hope I’m wrong but unlike Warner Brothers I’m not sure Disney actually works in real life....

    ReplyDelete
  12. G said...
    I've just become addicted to the Wire with the first series lasting all of a weekend...
    I’ve had all 5 series for years and could have watched them ages ago but wanted to share the experiance with Mrs B....Doh!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I MADE IT!!!

    I made it here a few weeks ago & I was looking at your post of incredible photos, but I was having trouble commenting with my new Star Trek device in hand.

    Also, due to my condition, I just finally started following up with other bloggers again. I'm very slow. Two blogs every few days kind of slow, but I'm getting there, slowly. *Stretches out of my snail shell*

    Hey, you could have been in the awkward situation I had gotten into when I had to see a gastroenterologist. During a rectal exam he took one look at me behind & asked me if I was Italian. Most awkward moment in history..

    I love those watches as much as I love all the different bands you're always seeing & so enthusiastic about.

    And with that, I shall return within the night to catch up. A quick duty calls. I have quite a bit to catch up with here for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  14. LilPixi said....

    I MADE IT!!!
    You have and I’m delighted to see you back here

    I made it here a few weeks ago & I was looking at your post of incredible photos, but I was having trouble commenting with my new Star Trek device in hand.
    I thought these new devices were meant to make life easier – yet the learning curve that seems to come with these supposedly intuitive machines makes learning Mandarin look like roller-skating down the side of a really high building

    Also, due to my condition, I just finally started following up with other bloggers again. I'm very slow. Two blogs every few days kind of slow, but I'm getting there, slowly. *Stretches out of my snail shell*
    Whatever you do don’t visit France – they would have you out of that shell and on dinner plate before you could say “No garlic......”

    Hey, you could have been in the awkward situation I had gotten into when I had to see a gastroenterologist. During a rectal exam he took one look at me behind & asked me if I was Italian. Most awkward moment in history..
    Not quite the same league but I took McG to the vets one time. I was running late so came in the front door, chucked him in to his cat box and straight out. When I opened the cat box at the vets it was a very soggy and pissed off moggy that greeted the vet....Fortunately the vet didn’t mistake either of us for being Italian but then again he wasn’t checking out my bum....at least I hope he wasn’t...

    I love those watches as much as I love all the different bands you're always seeing & so enthusiastic about.
    The problem with liking so many groups is there is always one of them touring...especialy now all the 80’s and 90’s bands are doing comeback tours...

    And with that, I shall return within the night to catch up. A quick duty calls. I have quite a bit to catch up with here for sure.
    Take your time the BlackLOG ain’t going nowhere .... Despite me getting it a passport and around the world (none refundable) ticket....

    ReplyDelete
  15. That fox photo is really awesome.

    One time, I was driving down a residential road early in the morning. I saw a *dog* run out of a house and a lady in a bathrobe running out after it yelling and waving. Being the nice person I am, I jumped out of my car to help her catch her animal. She looked at me with a weird mix of confusion and disgust and informed me it was a fox. Oops.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Sorry to hear about the gastric troubles. I've no doubt that a highly qualified lab geek will be able to sniff out the problem with the help of his microscope. Yes, I said sniff. I couldn't help it. I'm twelve on the inside.

    By the way, morbid as it sure as hell is, the pre-paid people planting is not a bad idea. Funeral costs are killer these days.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Brooke said...
    That fox photo is really awesome.
    Thank You

    One time, I was driving down a residential road early in the morning. I saw a *dog* run out of a house and a lady in a bathrobe running out after it yelling and waving. Being the nice person I am, I jumped out of my car to help her catch her animal. She looked at me with a weird mix of confusion and disgust and informed me it was a fox. Oops.
    I love the fact that you were trying to help her and she doesn’t give you any credit for that....

    ReplyDelete
  18. A Beer for the Shower said...
    Sorry to hear about the gastric troubles. I've no doubt that a highly qualified lab geek will be able to sniff out the problem with the help of his microscope. Yes, I said sniff. I couldn't help it. I'm twelve on the inside.
    No problem, my humour has yet to break into its teens....

    By the way, morbid as it sure as hell is, the pre-paid people planting is not a bad idea. Funeral costs are killer these days.
    As long as they don’t grow into Zombies....

    ReplyDelete

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