Tuesday 5 June 2012

Post No.199 Diet, Rejection and Currie

Lean and mean clean diet

I’ve been on a diet since I came back from skiing and despite having to reign back on exercise, due to my cracked rib, I have managed to lose over a stone....  I’ve stopped drinking fizzy drinks, cut out pure fruit juice, biscuits, cake, chocolate, pre-prepared meals and bread.  These have been replaced by nuts, seeds and fruit smoothies and fresh ingredients.....  On the plus side there is no calorie counting and no weighing portions so I don’t feel hungry.  It also amazing to discover that fresh food tastes so much better than the pre-packaged pap that is out there...   (Please, while Mrs B isn’t looking,......... send me chocolate..... )

Mrs B - “Who were you typing to?”

Me“No one, just tapping  away to myself”

Because I’m dieting I’m weighing myself more regularly,  which is how I came to make the following discovery.  I weighed myself – had a Rendezvous with last’s night supper in the porcelain boardroom and then weighed myself again....4lb had vanished from the scales....Since I’m not walking like John Wayne after weeks in the saddle I’m guessing that either the scales are not as accurate as I had hoped (Yikes I might actually have gained a stone) or there was a sudden and very dramatic change in air pressure....Hmm I can’t deny there wasn’t a certain amount of air pressure involved and I had to warn Mrs B not to go into that particular porcelain boardroom for a couple of days.... 

Sometimes you just have to take the shot....Even if it doesn't work out....

I did my second paid photo shoot last week – and it was not as successful as I had hoped. The request was received at very short notice (ie a couple of days) and the assignment as I understood it from the brief brief was to take some informal shots of a party....

I didn’t meet the client until I arrived at the party, which was already in full swing, so I had no time to get any further details of her requirements.

The candid feedback when I delivered the results were:
  • No setup shots beforehand (I had said that I would arrive later so that everyone had time to settle in and relax. It would have been helpful if she had told me at that point that she wanted some setup shots.... )
  • No story of the party through pictures (the party script writer must have gone away.... There was a progression from vaguely sober to almost horizontal and don’t stand too close in case the alcohol fumes strip off layers of facial skin but I’m guessing that was not the story that was required)
  • Not enough detail i.e. balloons, flowers etc...(I'm a bloke, that is clearly not going to happen without strict instructions in triplicate  )
  • No shots of the client and her husband together – (cardinal error, although in truth I didn’t find out who her husband was until after the party)
  • No shots of the cake – (I have to hold my hands up and admit that I didn’t actually see a cake – It’s a real shame that someone didn’t formally introduce us, although probably just as well because with the BlackLOG propensity towards disaster and devastation and finding out later that the  cake was in the form of white satin cushions I would probably have ended up sitting on it.... 
So, a steep learning curve i.e. more mistakes than positives.  Next time (if I ever get asked again) there are some tick points I need to go through with the client :- 
  • While I knew the party’s theme was White, I didn’t actually know if it was a birthday, anniversary,  getting through winter, getting out of prison party – Always ask.
  • Always find out who the main people are at the party (i.e. family, close friends etc.)
  • Take loads of shots of the client (I hate having my picture taken and forget people like to have pictures of themselves). 
  • Take more “detail” shots – i.e. the venue, details on dresses, flowers etc...   
Since I photo’d the party on the basis that the client could pay what the pictures were worth to her...I guess I will have earned a lot more in experience than hard cash...  

Justin Currie at the Union Chapel Islington

I have probably said it before and I will continue to say it, I love this venue.  It is really friendly, reasonably priced (that includes food and drink) and the profits go towards good causes – helping to fund the chapel restoration and the homeless, or is that helping restore the homeless chapel? Not quite sure.  While I’m not religious in anyway whatsoever – failed Catholic (disqualified for not believing in God, although, in all fairness there is no sign that he believes in me either) the people running the union chapel don’t thrust religion down your throat and unlike the Rhodes Centre (see last week) have a pretty relaxed attitude towards camera use – The main request was not to use flash (It puts off the performers and even more annoyingly upsets  “The Beast”* as he attempts to walks the tight rope between delicate light balance and dark atmospheric church), unfortunately a number of the audience just could not cope with even this simplest of requests and flashed their way (like a creepy guy in a mac making his way through a park full of bikini** clad women) through the entire performance. It also happens to be a complete waste of time when you consider that the majority of inbuilt camera flashes will only throw out light that is good for a couple of feet .....

* The Beast has had to go into Nikon Camera Hospital (NCH) suffering from exhaustion  – After three years of constant work he was looking a bit jaded.  It looked like he had the camera equivalent of leprosy with bits starting to drop off.... I got a phone call from NCH saying that internally he was also in need of  some loving care (Camera speak for it’s going to be an expensive stay). 

** The two-piece swimsuit called the ‘bikini’ was introduced in 1946,  just at the time Bikini Atoll, a group of 23 small islands in the Pacific was melting all the headlines as the site of nuclear testing.   It was released shortly after the ‘Atome’, a one-piece swimming costume had gone on sale. The Atome had been described at the time as the "smallest bathing suit in the world",  they said of the bikini that it "split the atom" – who said people in the 1940’s didn’t have a great sense of humour....They might well have just lost most of their relatives and were eating rations that would make the average fatty today wither to a normal size but they clearly knew how to have a laugh....


"It might as well be you..."
Justin shows his best pulling technique

I'll let you ladies decide how effective it is.
..
Justin was great fun and very obliging, even playing a number of Del Amitri classics...Sure there were a number of false starts and forgotten notes but the audience lapped it up,  bathing in the glow of constant flash bulbs like squaddies instructed to watch the bikini island nuclear testing from the safety of the open air .....and you thought this blog was just thrown together rather than being the carefully planned and meticulously created  chaos that results from any visit I make to a keyboard....

"It's never too late to be alone"

Justin wishes he had used stronger deodorant.....

Watch of the Week

 The regular section in support of Joe (Stunt Cock) and his growing watch business Xupes. Joe mentioned that they had been getting a number of hits via the BlackLOG. Xupes has been trading for over 2 years and Joe has recently developed some great contacts in the trade which enables him to pick up surplus stock and sell them at great prices. Mrs B is a regular purchaser from his jewellery section, going self-service once she finally realised that her husband is not the jewellery buying type…

Technicum Rattrapante Chronograph 18K Rose Gold

Technicum Rattrapante Chronograph 18K Rose Gold
Absolutely excellent condition very rare Technicum Rattrapante Chronograph in 18k rose gold on 18k rose gold strap. This is a beautiful watch which is one of Paul Picot's flagship models currently still featured in their 2012 range. It really has to be seen to be appreciated but it is a stunning piece. Complete with Box and extract from the archives has been ordered. 12 months Xupes Warranty.This photograph is pre-service and polish, please check back later for more photographs. • Self-winding chronograph movement, PP8888 calibre with split-second hand function and official C.O.S.C chronometer certification • Shows the hours, minutes, small seconds, date and day display, power-reserve indicator • Engine-turned 925 solid silver dial, applied indexes • Case in 18-carat gold. Screw-down crown. Sapphire crystal. Sapphire crystal case back secured with 6 screws. • Water-resistant to 50 meters • 21-carat gold oscillating weight.

Record of the week

Kiss This Thing Goodbye by Del Amitri

Spit in the Rain by Justin Currie

Nothing Ever Happens by Del Amitri.

Photo finish

Pictures from the ill fated white party - I wish I had eaten and had a few drinks to make up for my lack of payment....
Dress down day
had finally hit rock bottom
"Sod your V.P.L problems  - I think I've got a
dingle-berry emergency going on down there"
Referee -" I want a clean fight girls...."
Girls - "What sort of mud wrestling contest is this? "
The Sneaky fart....
"Please don't let it be a wet one...."
1 of 3
 Early attempts to get the Macarena going failed
dismally  - I just hope she doesn't attempt to cover
 it up with a rendition of the  Birdie Song....
2 of 3
 "Yep,  she tried the Birdie Song, which
didn't prove popular with the audience"
3 of 3
 Bouncer - "Look luv this is your final warning -

No Macarena.....

No Birdie song....

and certainly no Agadoo.....

otherwise you are out of here....."
Have you seen BlackLOGs pictures 
of us they are terrible....with no story 
or anything

Tune in next week for Coldplay at the Emirates

16 comments:

  1. Looked like it might have been a fun party although I would have hated to have to dress in white. Always managed to splash red wine when I do.

    Wishing the Beast a speedy recovery and a low impact to your wallet

    ReplyDelete
  2. (Please, while Mrs B isn’t looking,......... send me chocolate..... ) You can have mine! I hate chocolate. I'll trade you for some good tea.

    had a Rendezvous with last’s night supper in the porcelain boardroom and then weighed myself again. You have it all wrong. The only good time to weigh yourself is in the morning (after having a Rendezvous with the porcelain king if necessary). I swear I gain five pounds throughout the day, so the morning is my favorite time to tip the scales.

    Sorry to hear she wasn't all that impressed, but you can only get better from here, right?? I'd find a way to blame it on her. Blow it off and rock the next event you're hired to do (I don't doubt you'll have lots more events!).

    Is the Beast going to be okay? This sounds serious. Over in the states we hold spaghetti feeds to raise money to help sick people (because the $300 or so raised is really going to help when a person is looking at $45,000+ doctor's bills). Maybe you could do something similar for the Beast?

    Have a great week!

    ReplyDelete
  3. sorry to hear the Beast is sick - only a matter of time before you are looking at replacing it and sending the Beast to Beast heaven I bet. Bit of a disappointment on the 'party photos' front too. Oops. Live and learn. Those watches are getting more and more expensive..... hope he sells some of them! Kitchen news???

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mynx said...
    Looked like it might have been a fun party although I would have hated to have to dress in white. Always managed to splash red wine when I do. You could try drinking white wine....

    Wishing the Beast a speedy recovery and a low impact to your wallet
    Fingers crossed on both ....I pick him up later today

    ReplyDelete
  5. L-Kat said...
    (Please, while Mrs B isn’t looking,......... send me chocolate..... ) You can have mine! I hate chocolate. I'll trade you for some good tea.
    Sounds like a good trade....what are you willing to swap for my alcohol allotment...

    had a Rendezvous with last’s night supper in the porcelain boardroom and then weighed myself again. You have it all wrong. The only good time to weigh yourself is in the morning (after having a Rendezvous with the porcelain king if necessary). I swear I gain five pounds throughout the day, so the morning is my favorite time to tip the scales.
    It was a morning weigh in – I never have porcelain boardroom meetings at any other time....Except sometimes in the afternoon....or early evening ....or just before bed (which is a much better idea than after going to bed)

    Sorry to hear she wasn't all that impressed, but you can only get better from here, right?? I'd find a way to blame it on her. Blow it off and rock the next event you're hired to do (I don't doubt you'll have lots more events!).
    At that rate of return I’m not sure I can afford it....

    Is the Beast going to be okay? This sounds serious. Fortunately it’s mainly cosmetic surgery....
    Over in the states we hold spaghetti feeds to raise money to help sick people (because the $300 or so raised is really going to help when a person is looking at $45,000+ doctor's bills).
    So only $44,700 to go....Gulp...

    Maybe you could do something similar for the Beast?
    The Beast doesn’t like Spaghetti...he’s more of a meat eater

    Have a great week!
    Thank you and hope you have a great weekend

    ReplyDelete
  6. skipperthewonderhorse said...
    Sorry to hear the Beast is sick - only a matter of time before you are looking at replacing it and sending the Beast to Beast heaven I bet.
    Replace The Beast are you mad... likely to get a companion for him to support his work load

    Bit of a disappointment on the 'party photos' front too. Oops. Live and learn.
    Me learn....very unlikely....

    Those watches are getting more and more expensive..... hope he sells some of them!
    He seems to be doing very well....While the bottom half of the country is struggling with recession, the top half seems awash with money....

    Kitchen news???
    Currently waiting for the autopsy result...

    ReplyDelete
  7. The last caption is great. I think the pictures are telling a story, albeit a very confusing one. I can't believe that man stole my outfit. I'll have to come up with something more original to wear when I prepare my biscuits, cake, bread, and pre-packaged meals.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sounds like your client should have better prepared you for the job!! No picture of the cake? Oh my...you should have been dragged there!

    Good luck with your diet! I'm one of the annoying people that eats healthy all the time. Well, except for right now. I'm eating a Devil Dog. lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. No chocolate? How are you even functioning enough to write? Send me your address and I promise to send you chocolate, but I might also stalk you a little.

    So it's really your call.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Brooke said...
    The last caption is great. I think the pictures are telling a story, albeit a very confusing one.
    White party lady has clearly never read the BlackLOG – it specialises in confusing stories....

    I can't believe that man stole my outfit. I'll have to come up with something more original to wear when I prepare my biscuits, cake, bread, and pre-packaged meals.
    That leaves an interesting mark on my already fragile mind – Topless baking, there are so many remarks I could make but I’m far too polite ...All I wil say is I just hope you don’t sit on the preparation area, cause I wouldn’t want those brownies might prove to be a little too real....

    ReplyDelete
  11. Jax said...
    Sounds like your client should have better prepared you for the job!! No picture of the cake? Oh my...you should have been dragged there!
    How annoyed would she have been if I had actually found the cake and eaten the damn thing -

    Good luck with your diet! I'm one of the annoying people that eats healthy all the time. Well, except for right now. I'm eating a Devil Dog. Lol
    Yeah I just looked up what a devil dog is – it would take about 6 months of extra healthy eating to shift that shit from your body.....

    ReplyDelete
  12. Allie said...
    No chocolate? How are you even functioning enough to write?
    I’m currently running on memories of chocolates past.....

    Send me your address and I promise to send you chocolate, but I might also stalk you a little.

    So it's really your call.


    Tempting as it is to be stalked, I’ve never had a stalker before ....not even the offer of a stalker....It’s just that I’m not sure American chocolate really counts.....Hmmm how about you stalk me a little but don’t send any of that Hershey’s shit....

    ReplyDelete
  13. Lost a stone?
    That's not the same as "passing" a stone, is it?
    One is very painful, I think.
    Plus, trying to get away with a "sneaky" fart can result in disaster.
    You can either have a "silent but deadly." In which case, you can blame the dog or old Aunt Edith (Edith gets around).
    or.....
    You can suffer a catastrophic failure of the O-Ring malfunction of the Shit-Air Separator.
    In which case you'll have a bit of pungent artwork on the back of your dress.
    Which you can blame on those damn incompetents at the dry cleaners.
    Or Aunt Edith.
    Because...why the hell not?

    ReplyDelete
  14. we have a friend with a fairly serious stalker, the stalker has even been to prison for the stalking. Its pretty scary.Don't encourage the stalking type....

    ReplyDelete
  15. Al Penwasser said...
    Lost a stone?
    That's not the same as "passing" a stone, is it?
    One is very painful, I think.

    Smooth edge stones are not so bad – the rough edge ones forget about it....
    Plus, trying to get away with a "sneaky" fart can result in disaster.
    You can either have a "silent but deadly." In which case, you can blame the dog or old Aunt Edith (Edith gets around).

    I find people start questioning why I keep Aunt Edith years after she passed away. It’s all I can do to stop the dog eating her....

    or.....
    You can suffer a catastrophic failure of the O-Ring malfunction of the Shit-Air Separator.
    In which case you'll have a bit of pungent artwork on the back of your dress.
    Which you can blame on those damn incompetents at the dry cleaners.
    Or Aunt Edith.
    Because...why the hell not?

    I had always wondered what caused an unexpected wet one and now I Know - who knew it was a “catastrophic failure of the O-Ring malfunction of the Shit-Air Separator”

    ReplyDelete
  16. skipperthewonderhorse said...
    We have a friend with a fairly serious stalker, the stalker has even been to prison for the stalking. Its pretty scary.Don't encourage the stalking type....
    Teach, seriously who is going to stalk me???

    ReplyDelete

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