The final proof, I am unbalanced...

I've been doing Cat impressions for the last few days, which basically involved sleeping for most of the time and then casually throwing up at inopportune moments. The cats have been very supportive i.e. joining me in the sleeping part. My worst moment was when I had my head down the toilet and Mischief jumped up on my back and went to sleep. I guess I should have been grateful it was not McG.

I should point out that this was not me or Mischief but
a picture I was sent which seemed appropriate. Top tip
men should never appear naked in front of cats, don't
forget they like playing with dangly things........

This all came about through an ear infection that I think I got on Sunday's bike ride. I must apologise to Mrs B and Kirsty. Despite my misguided attempts to protect the integrity of the BBC weather site, it was real rain and lots of it. I was afraid that they would not join me on a ride and I was desperate to show off my new bike. Mrs B could tell it was real rain - despite my efforts - having experienced swimming through Berlin with me a few weeks back.

My new bike, nice but not worth losing your lunch over

I never realised how bad an ear infection could be. Although I had no actual pain, every time I tried to move, the room would start to spin and move in and out in peculiar patterns. I guess like having a bad LSD trip during an Alton Towers ride.(No, I have not taken drugs but I have listened to "Lucy in the sky with Diamonds" at full volume while spinning around as fast as I could. What can I say? I was young and it seemed like a good idea).

When ears turn bad. I'm just hoping that
my infection does not get this bad. A few
days later this man's ear had to be amputated

In between my cat impressions I was doing rather impressive crab impressions, moving left and right but never forward. I was tempted to ring the vets but decided on balance that they probably don't see many live crabs in Bishops Stortford. So I gave NHS Direct a chance. I must say NHS Direct were fabulous - telling me not to panic but advising me to see my doctor ASAP, before calmly adding "If symptoms get any worse call an ambulance!!!!" Wow, so really nothing to worry about then. I amazed Mrs B by managing to get hold of a Doctor's appointment for that very afternoon, normally you have to make appointments six months in advance and have a letter from a local undertaker stating that you are at death's door and they have already taken your measurements for a wooden overcoat.....

Mischief not impressed by my failure to purr.
Barfing just does not provide the same reassuring tone