We were using our old workhorse, our aging but reliable VW Golf, to go and see the film “Burn after reading” I must admit that during the first 15 minutes I thought we had stumbled into “Burn before watching”. Fortunately it picked up after that and became a decent comedy – I did notice a couple of people arriving a quarter of an hour late though - perhaps they were seeing the film for the second time.....
On our return to the car we had been given a beautifully hand-crafted parking ticket to go with our dull-but-valid parking permit. Fortunately, the parking attendants were still wandering around, issuing tickets to lamp posts and pensioners. I believe even the car park's own ticket machine was not immune from their relentless generation of little yellow and black plastic envelopes of pain. I thrust his generous but undeserved gift back into his sweaty little hand and asked why he had bestowed such a delightful present on us. He ambled back to our car and gave it the once-over.
His eyes said “What do you expect if you park this old thing here?”
Eventually he conceded that it was an error but attempted to cover himself by saying that as a season ticket holder we should be pleased that he was ticketing cars. This left me too speechless to point out that as a car park season ticket holder I didn’t really appreciate the opportunity to pay extra for our already over-priced parking privileges.
Compare this with the treatment of ElleGee a couple of days earlier:
I had parked ElleGee in the very same car park, and noticed a parking attendant hanging around like a bad smell.....
PA :- “Have you got a valid permit Sir?”
Me :- “Oh yes” I said smugly.
PA :- “It wouldn't have mattered if you hadn't - it’s such a nice car I couldn’t have given it a ticket.” (aside 1)
At the time, I am ashamed to say, I felt full of pride. How was I to know that they were attempting the evil trade of funding the parking of new cars at the expense of the older generation......? I wonder if Watchdog would be interested in this sordid case of 'Senior bullying'? After all they'll put any old rubbish on, won't they?
Round up of recent events
The real cost of a cheap wooden floor
While watching the film “Burn after Reading” (or as mentioned earlier, Burn before watching the first 15 minutes) I noted that George Clooney was playing a kind of creepy lothario with a particularly unhealthy obsession for quality wooden floors. Sorry Clare, it looks like your Dad’s advice to go for the cheap version might have cost you a crack at the Clooney….....
Well thanks a lot Clare. Your little inappropriate savings mean that it is very unlikely I will get to attend my first celebrity wedding. Worse than that Mrs B had already selected a dress, shoes and matching handbag for the ceremony. I had also prepared a speech in case your dear old Dad was too shocked to give you away...
How to get in trouble for not including things in the B lackLOG
I have, on the odd occasion, managed to upset one or two people with a mention in the BlackLOG so it came as a bit of a surprise when I was confronted by my friend Penny who was upset with me for 'failing' to mention the Ball we attended with her and hubby Paul a few weeks back. She said she had been waiting expectantly to read about it in the BlackLOG and was disappointed when nothing appeared. So just for you Penny I can confirm we attended a ball with you….It was very……er “Nice”. I'll try and get the weekend's "Stomp" details into a future blog, it's just I need to follow up on some leads first - i.e find out the details of the evening. I can't believe I managed to sleep through all that noise. Honest - I did enjoy the bit I saw......
I feel at this point, in the interests of full disclosure, I should also mention my friend Sophie's sparkly toilet seat. For some reason Sophie was devastated, a few years back, that I had not mentioned it in a blog, especially after I gave her so much grief when I first found out about it.Sophie's silver glittery toilet seat. Despite my best efforts I have never been able to find a satisfactory Blog story for it to shine in. Now if it had been a glow in the dark version it probably would have got its own dedicated
It sounds like I should start charging people to appear in the BlackLOG. I could use the funds generated to compensate the people who I have managed to upset, even the ones that still owe me a curry......
Don't forget to drop into the "BlackLOG - Historical" should be updated in time for Thursday morning.
(1)He was probably trying to trick me into parking without a ticket. I can imagine my defence in Court going down like the Titanic :-
Me :-In a particularly whiney voice "But your honour, he said he would not give ElleGee a ticket because he looks so nice"
Judge :-"If I had the power you would be sentenced to death for wasting the Court's time..."
PA :- Says nothing but emits a low,deep and evil laugh. His eyes flash red as he slips from the Court.....
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