Fiddling while Rome burns

Sorry for the late running of this week’s BlackLOG I put it down to my inability to create more than one blog a week (how on earth do people manage to create lengthy daily blogs…?). I have entered a little blog competition over at “It’s an average life” and got so over-excited about the prospect I created my entry a week before it was due.

The concept behind the competition is that you are pitted against another blogger, given a subject and instructed that one of you is “for” the subject while the other is “against”. You then blog the hell out of the issue in a witty if not informative way and hope you take the audience with you. The voters appear to be mostly American and since even I don't get half of my jokes (yes dear readers if you have been under the misapprehension that this was a factual blog which tells life as it is you have been mislead and should sue the bejeevers out of the creator of the BlackLOG) I fear for my chances. If only the competition was decided on meandering away from the subject and baffling the readers I would feel a lot more comfortable….

I think poor Average Girl is already regretting accepting me as a contestant – it started off so well, I got my entry in early and was prepared to sit back, not touching it, while waiting patiently for my blog battle to be published. Now for me this was more tricky than having a loose tooth and an inquisitive tongue or having a chew in my mouth and not chewing….If you ask Mrs B she will confirm that I am a natural born tinkerer….

It was going so well until Average Girl confirmed my entry had been received but mentioned that it looked a bit complicated to publish. Other than being emotionally drained after each publication I also find myself physically exhausted from all the fiddling with HTML code to get the post as close to my original vision as is possible (more often than not it does not end up in the same universe, my imagination is far better than my ability). A little knowledge of HTML can be a dangerous thing and often ends up tripling the time taken to publish.

I decided to do the honourable thing and try and simplify it for Average Girl….only….Once I went back in to the Blog it was like I had been transported back to Rome in AD 64 - the city was ablaze. I had a stringed instrument in one hand, a spent match in the other and a name badge that said “Nero – access all areas”. I was left with no option* but to fiddle….. So tune in next week to find out how all that fiddling went,  how the BlackLOG copes with the confines of a subject and will the Time Travle Police catch up with me and charge me for burning down Rome.....???

* Talking of no option, I  read the following review of the film The Fallen - "I was forced to watch this film** the other night only because on the cover it stated in big bold letters Saving Private Ryan but better" ......Hmmm, this person obviously has a real strength of character and isn't  easily swayed by other people's opinion. I can imagine  the following  quote from the inquest into their death  

Pathologist - “They  didn’t  really like peanuts, (in fact they had a severe nut allergy)

but thought as everyone else liked them it would be alright”  

** Proof that the keyboard is mightier than the machine gun or at least in this case the remote control

OK that’s the excuses out of the way. In other BlackLOG news:

Last weekend we co-hosted a Ski pre-union for our ski holiday at the end of March – with 9 diaries*** to co-ordinate it proved harder to arrange the pre-union than the actual holiday itself.

*** incidentally we do have a spare space if anyone is interested. Preferably female as it would involve sharing with Lisa and her extensive collection of wigs and all things glittery……..

Kirsty and Joe (OK Joe) did the starter and dessert, the starter being a Nigella Lawson dish – Scallops in a pea puree. Thumbs up for the scallops but in my anti-vegetable opinion, the pea puree was like an extra from the Exorcist and there was so much of it. I’m not sure if it was Nigella or Joe who decided there should be bucket loads of the vile substance in case the head-spinning scene needed a couple of takes….

Dessert was a lemon and meringue mousse which went down very nicely. Unfortunately though, this lemony dessert prompted calls for Limoncello which ultimately resulted in Mrs B writing-off the whole of Sunday. (Mrs B may not have managed the head-spinning part of the Exorcist but she certainly seemed to make good use of the spare pea puree.) She missed the inaugural Hertford Barnstormers Comedy night on Sunday evening, leaving Mala, Craig and I to face the wrath of the comedians as a threesome. Fortunately we managed to avoid being in the front row, which predictably became the focus of the comedic attention…..

Sandwiched in-between the scallops and lemon mousse, Mrs B created a rather wonderful main course: pork tenderloin with a spinach and ham stuffing, complimented with potato boulangere and veggie bits.

An excellent night was had by all but I wish someone had told the cats that getting to bed at 4am means you really don’t need a cat call at 7am….

If it was not so sad it would be hilarious
I caught the end of some Australian animal rescue program the other day, a call had come in that some scumbag redneck, or whatever the Australian equivalent is, was holding two possums (possi, Possies, who knows what the plural is?) hostage. The Australian animal rescue team explained that it was illegal to maintain a possum in a built up area as people had no idea how to feed and look after them. (Personally I thought you hung them upside down in a tree and waited for autumn.) They managed to catch one of the possums (while the redneck and the other possum managed to evade capture) and dragged it screeching and wailing like a banshee (so much for fainting and playing dead) to a vet. The vet gave it a thorough workover and declared that it was fit and healthy, well fed and relatively well adjusted. The head animal rescue officer then somehow managed to keep a straight face while he explained that the possums would need to be euthanized for their own protection…What the…?

Background
The scumbag redneck turned out not to be so rednecked or much of a scumbag. Other than having a grey pony tail, he was a perfectly normal, or what passes for normal, Australian. He had rescued the two possums when they had been orphaned as babies and were on a one-way ticket out of this life. Non-redneck had hand-reared these possums, saving their lives but in the process making them so tame that the animal rescue team wanted to waste them……

Sense prevailed and they put the redneck down while the possums were let off with a warning …

Kidding…….

They gave non-redneck a possum licence.

So after all that emotional roller coaster of, would we get to watch? 'two little possum funerals and the live shooting of a redneck on the run',  it was just a typical effort of TV program makers to inject  excitement into a fairly dull run of the mill event.   

Who am I to criticise?  It is not unlike an episode of the BlackLOG, except I manage to eradicate any vestige of excitement and significance from our otherwise vaguely lived lives…. 

Energy watch
Monitoring our way to a fortune (or not) with our Solar Panels

KW Produced so far - 180

This has earned us approximately – £76.75 so far

KW generated in the week - 30

Record of the week

Fiddle About by the The Who - 

Photo finish
Ski pre-union party pictures

Breakfast negotiations

Me - "McG you can attempt to blend in with the floor all you like, but
it's 7am in the morning  and I’m not happy that I only got 3 hours sleep ."

Joe looks on in splendid anticipation as the

full horror of his food colouring experiment

starts to come to fruition . I wondered

why I was not the only one sampling 

Joe's Pee pea puree…

Kirsty, along with other guests, take on a rather fetching

green hue after sampling Joe's starter ....

Christian felt a bit guilty that he failed to mention

that Mrs B was gradually getting more and more out

of focus as the evening progressed.....

Although Shonagh and Phil look as if they

may  also have noticed....

While Mrs B's attempts at wrenching her head around 360

degrees were pitiful,  she gained much kudos however

for winning the prize for the evenings most

creative use of pea puree....

I would have liked to Photoshop the effects but believe

it or  not I do value my marriage and my life....

Eat your heart out Barbie -Lisa comes

with lots of wigs and shiny accessories,

just no Ken yet...

As a new addition to the ski group Richard looks increasingly

  uncomfortable as lurid tales of last year’s broken legs

and wig wearing debauchery came to light. Even a promise

that this year’s trip would be more abstemious* did not

reassure him…

*Yes Phil,  just for you I’ve included Mrs B's word of the week  

Mischief practicing playing possum….

Just as well she is not in Australia

they would probably have her

euthanized for her own safety....

Hair of the dog

This was taken the following morning when we popped around

to see Joe and Kirsty and their puppy Alfie.  We got more than we 

bargained for as Kirsty’s mum (my Yogress for regular followers of
the blog) had just dropped off her two dogs….

I would like to point out that it was Rocco (Kirsty's mums

dog) who initiated the tongue action (one might even say

he took the lead…). I just felt it would be rude not

to reciprocate the favour.

Have to go I think I just caught a glimpse of the Time Travel Police and they don't look in a good mood, I do hope McG and Mischief have not been depriving them of sleep...catch you next week or possibly some time in your past.....