I'm afraid I'm in the “hate it” camp when it comes to Valentine’s Day, on the basis that it is pure commercialism….
Mrs B and I stopped going out to restaurants for VD years ago. We object to being squeezed into a production line of Valentine specials menu (sub-standard food at exorbitant prices) , additional tables - generally so rickety that they would not pass basic health and safety checks and are prevented from collapsing only because there is no room for them to topple anywhere….
Any attempt at intimate conversation with your loved one is shared amongst 16 of the closest people in your lives….. not close in terms of family and relationships but close in terms of geography. You are very unlikely to get closer unless you choose to travel on the Tokyo underground…..
If it’s that bad on a normal commute day, you have to wonder
what is it like on bring your child to work days….
When it comes to extracting your now compressed body from the death trap of (insert the name of any restaurant that you happen to frequent on the 14th February) you should be extremely grateful that the food served up was not in any way edible, as putting on even an ounce in weight would have severely hampered any chances of getting out of the restaurant at all.
It would not surprise me if the phrase “having a crush on somebody” came about through the thoughtfulness of restaurants to get their patrons ‘up-close and personal’ on Valentines night…
Proof that we truly live in a mad world
Just been hearing on the UK news, the story of the business owner who caught one of his staff with their hand in the till. He put a sign around the thief’s neck saying “I stole £825 and I am being taken to the police station.”
The thief got a cautions for the theft and received £5,000 compensation from the employer for infringements of his human rights…WTF…
The employer not only had to pay this once “trusted employee” £5,000 for stealing from him but I believe an additional £10,000 lawyer costs. He ended up settling out of court because the costs were spiralling out of control….Talk about protecting the criminals…
It's not much better in the States :-
The judge said that the magazine's failure to check their facts properly "doesn't establish malice" - a key component of US libel law.
The only glimmer of hope from this story is since the BlackLOG has a strict policy to never check facts it should be free to say whatever it likes .... So I shall start with the US district judge “In my opinion..hmmm…hmmmm…..hmmmm”
Mrs B apologies for the interruption to this week’s BlackLOG but has put a gagging order on the remainder of this section
Film review - Black Swan
The review of the film suffers a bit from our local cinema’s incompetence. It is not the film’s fault that our cinema advertised the film but were incapable of playing it on C.A.C.T.U.S night * . What made it worse was for once Mrs B had finished early (well early for her) raced through the traffic and actually made it in good time for once, while our friend Mala had driven across from Hertford….
* Cheap As Chips TUeSday – all films £2.99 – well any that they actually manage to show….
We finally got to see the film on Saturday night where the fact that we got to pay full price seemed to have had the magic effect on the cinema who miraculously worked out how to play the film….
From my point of view there was far too much ballet, which is a little unfair considering this is a review of a thriller based around a ballet (please note I never claimed this was going to be a fair review). All that foot bending, toe crunching and spinning with each separate movement conveying a purity of zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….sorry where was I….? Oh yeah, in short, ballet does nothing for me….
Still, once I looked beyond the ballet part it was a pretty decent thriller. Even so I still had a couple of other issues with the film. Natalie Portman playing the lead role was so intense, so miserable and so in distress that if she had been playing an actual swan she would have been put down to prevent further suffering (mine certainly if not her own….). Then there was the fact that the lead dancer in a ballet company did not have a dresser…. We live in an age that the lead in the most amateur of productions gets a dresser, even if it happens to be their Mum with some spit on a bit of tissue….
Word of the week
Thanks to “laughing my abs off” for inspiring my idea of a dating site for the terminally flatulent. During the battle of the Blogs (currently suspended through family illness, so you will have to wait a little while longer for my entry), LMAO had been allocated the task of “being a fart advocate”. Her entry included an idea for Speed dating based around selecting your mate based on health & vitality. One sure sign of this is the high quality & large quantity of toots….. With this in mind I bring you:
“Inflatulations” - for people that pass “wind” in the night….
I had thought that I had created a new word but yet again I discovered (via a google search) I was cast as Scott of the Antarctic and yet again Amundsen had got their first….In this case the part of Amundsen is played by the Urban Dictionary who’s definition is -
an extent that it causes one to pass gas.”
Monitoring our way to a fortune (or not) with our Solar Panels
KW Produced so far - 201
This has earned us approximately – £85.70 so far
KW generated in the week - 21
Record of the week
St. Valentine's Day Massacre by Cocktail Slippers Diary - I had hoped to bring you the song “Please take your elbow out of my soup” by the fabulously talentless group “The Guys on the next table” but since they don’t exist and won’t ever write this never-green classic, I had to fall back on St. Valentine's Day Massacre
Don't Stand So Close To Me by The Police - This is pure genius at work, as it not only covers both the Valentine restaurant section, with the title, but also the group name covers "being paid to be a thief part" ….I thank you
Black Swan by Thom Yorke – Almost as intense as Natalie Portman…..
Well done for surviving yet another BlackLOG, I hope you did not find it the experience too bad and will tune in next week for another adventure into the mundane....