Having difficulty letting go of 2011

Apologies for the tardy start to the BlackLOG 2012, it seems to have been a struggle to find the time or the inclination but  I’ve dragged myself back into cyberspace with my first proper blog for 2012....

So, hello 2012.  I’m starting with a  bit of a catch-up,  which unfortunately takes me back to 2011 –

Sorry,  I’m clearly having difficulty letting go of 2011 –

What can I say?  It was a good year –

However I can promise it is only a brief trip while I fill in some background and then it will be into the current year....(Unless you are reading this from the future, in which case where have you been? P.S. if you have any tips on what happened in 2012 it would be much appreciated.  If you could leave these in the comments section,  I promise to use them exclusively for betting purposes  and then dedicate the winnings to living a more interesting life,  which will then be reported in the BlackLOG..... ) 

Whistler

It was off to Whistler for New Year – now at this point regular readers will already have it in mind that the next few paragraphs  will offer a sad tale of airport mix ups, luggage problems and general travel chaos....

I’m sorry to have to report that nothing could be further from the truth, so anyone who enjoys seeing high levels of suffering in the BlackLOG  should probably leave now and come back another time...

The story starts on the internet, at the beginning of December, when Mrs B found BA Business Class flights to Vancouver for only £100 more than cattle class sorry I mean economy  class tickets.   With the snow levels in Europe running on empty  at the time we jumped at the chance.

Business class travel

The problem with getting cheap Business class flights is you can get used to them – to put things in perspective Mrs B checked on the flight prices a couple of week later and discovered that our seats would cost an additional £4,000 each .....so I guess we won’t be getting Business class flights very often...

So what do you get once you step out of DVT* class?

• Treated with respect, almost deference, from the moment you check in – they clearly don’t know how much you paid for your seat, we felt a bit fraudulent and expected someone to flag us up and march us back into economy....  
• Extra luggage allowance that not even The Beast could break through.
• Proper plates and cutlery and better quality food on the plane.
• A seat that turns into a bed
• A bigger screen for watching films
• The chance to sit up in the bubble on a Jumbo Jet.
• The opportunity to take off sitting backwards
• Access to the Lounge at the airport where complimentary food and drink is provided.
• Priority unload ticket on your luggage – although the ticket was the only thing that said “priority” about the experience.  If anything, our luggage came out after everyone else’s – maybe I missed the wording that said “Priority -  left till last because you haven’t paid full price for your ticket.....”

What I don’t get is what you could possibly get travelling First class, which makes it twice the price of Business Class . The only thing that I can think of is that you are paying for privacy so the great and the good don’t have to mix with us, the great unwashed...   

* DVT - Deep Vein Thrombosis - Even the dodgiest of supermarkets would be hard pushed to pass off economy passengers as free range....  The thing to remember with DVT is that just a few precautions can help reduce the risk. These include :- 

• Earn loads of money so you don’t have to travel in the chicken coop  at the back of the plane...
• Get someone else to pay for your business class ticket....
• Learn to look like someone famous and wait for an upgrade....
• Always go to the airport on stilts and complain about the lack of legroom....

Kindness of friends

We had booked a car, as we were landing late and then having to get back to Vancouver airport for an early flight on the way home, so the bus from Vancouver was not really an option.....  

We phoned our friend Mitch, who lives in Vancouver and told him we were going to be out in Whistler and if he wanted to join us for a few days he was welcome to crash on our sofa.....

He asked us how we were getting out to Whistler and we told him we had booked a car – Cancel it he said I can pick you up, spend a couple of days skiing with you and then pick you up and drop you off at the airport – we tried to tell him it was going to be late getting into Whistler on New Year’s Eve and an early start (4am) the following week to get back to Vancouver.  He insisted on being our chauffeur, how cool is that ...? Thanks Mitch.  That really is taking friendship above and beyond the call of duty....  

It had been a while since we had skied at Whistler, they were still bidding for the 2010 Olympics last time we were there, so that was probably about 2006.  We had been worried that it would be ruined by the Olympic building development so had avoided it.  TIn the event the only change we could see was the new Peak to Peak Gondola that was installed for the Olympics...

I don’t really get it. Whistler has two huge mountains that each have more than enough skiing for a week let alone half a day.... We did make the trip across,  waiting  for the glass bottom gondola, which gave some great photo opportunities but struck me,  at a cost of around CDN$51 million as quite expensive for a few of my holiday snaps.....

CDN$51 million seems a lot to pay for a photo opportunity

Three falls but  no submissions  

I almost managed to have my first  fall-free ski holiday, with just the one when I fell while avoiding a small child who skied in front of me– I had been feeling guilty  as the day before I had gone to spray Mitch who raised his skis and forced me to jump sideways, tapping the back of some poor girls skis,  sending her spinning to the ground. I had just about recovered without falling myself  and had gone back to apologise and help her pick herself up.  Even I felt I couldn’t have two collisions in two days, which incidentally was my first collision in about 26 years. I don’t want you to get the impression that I’m a serial collider......

Mrs B admitted to 2 ½ falls, although I think there might have been a few more and I’m waiting for the publication of her official fall audit.  I only witnessed 1 ½ of her falls which was the dramatic collapse in a lift queue and I’m guessing the half was when she was walking back to her skis  after lunch and started to topple – a small passing child proved a god send,  as Mrs B lost her footing and managed to push down on the child’s head as she toppled forward.  While Mrs B rose back up the small child got pushed gently into the snow....with the recent snow fall it’s probably still stuck there......   

Much as I love Canada I do have a  few problems with you

Now don’t get me wrong I like Canada but I have a few issues with :-

• your Bacon - which appears to be 100% fat with a little pink stripe painted on the side              –  F.Y.I. that’s not bacon that’s fat.... 
• your Food being so sweet.  How much sugar do you add to your products? I suspect even your sugar content is 200% sugar....
• Taking everything said to you so literally.  I was out for a coffee with Mitch one evening and we were chatting to the Barrista who was very excited that she had served someone famous earlier in the day.

Barrista – “I served Sam Neill today - you know, the star of Jurassic Park”

Me – “I would have been more impressed if you had served one of the Velociraptors”

Barrister – “They don’t drink coffee do they?”

Me – “Do bears shit in the woods?”

Barrister – “Don’t mention bears I’m frightened of them”

Me – “No need to worry....” pointing at Mitch, in his Sheepskin flying jacket, “My friend Mitch kills and skins bears for a living...”

Barrista – “Gosh, that’s a real bearskin coat” she said admiring Mitch’s Sheepskin coat....

Me – “No it’s a Velociraptor coat, they were out of bears”

Barrista – “Wow....are they expensive????”

I decided to leave the conversation at that point  before I confused her any more.  Just as well I hadn’t told her that Mitch killed and skinned Sam Neill’s for a living.....

Being me though I didn’t stop there.....................  

I was moving across to a water fountain in one of the ski Lodges when a Canadian lady shoved passed me

Me - “After you” I said in my best polite English voice....

Canadian Skier – “Thank you” she said taking a gulp

Me – “No Problem, I always like to get people to test my food and drink before I partake, in case it has been poisoned”

I thought she was going to spit the water out as she glared at me and stomped off again...

I guess no matter how much I like Canada I would never be able to live there permanently  – Mitch had tried to warn me that many Canadians take everything said as factual and my sense of humour would get me into a lot of trouble – I would almost certainly have to carry a sign saying “Only joking....”    

   

Blogger Comment problems

Is it me or is anyone else having problems with Blogger comments – I had to change my blog comments from embedded  to pop-up window as the embedded version  keeps freezing.   I’m  also getting this when I try and comment on some other peoples’ Blogger pages – most frustrating or possibly relieving  for some of the blogger accounts I tried to comment on.

I tried using the updated blogger interface but that freezes as well....Hmmm do I need  to think about changing home to Wordpress or another alternative???

Watch of the week

The regular section in support of Joe (Stunt Cock) and his growing watch business Xupes. Joe mentioned that they had been getting a number of hits via the BlackLOG.

Xupes has been trading for over 3 years and  Joe has recently developed some great contacts in the trade which enables him to pick up surplus stock and sell them at great prices. Mrs B is a regular purchaser from his jewellery section, going self service once she finally realised that her husband is not the jewellery buying type…

FRANCK MULLER CASABLANCA 5850

Xupes price

£5,995.00

Xupes price

£5,995.00

This is your chance to acquire an excellent condition mens Franck Muller Casablanca 5850 Large SS automatic watch on black crocodile leather strap with stainless steel black tang buckle. This is the mens large size measuring 31.5mm by 38.8mm. The dial is mocha. This watch is stamped special on the reverse engraved with the Kuwait Royal Family Crest for whom the watch was manufactured in a very limited run of around 10 pieces. The watch is complete with original boxes & guarantee stamped and dated 24th December 2003. You are very unlikely to see another like this - Certainly a collectors piece for the future.

Record of the week

 Letting Go by Wings - I probably need to take note of this bit of advice from Mr McCartney

Sweets For My Sweet by The Searchers - Yes Canada and USA, you appear to have a very sweet tooth

Photo Finish
A Beast Eye view of Whistler

Tappan village restaurant,
as our chef laughs in the face of that
 age old advice not to play with
the food..

Whistlers Ski hosts, like an interactive piste map...



Christmas lights in the lower village....
if you look closely you can just see
 the Velociraptor skin coat in
 the foreground.... 

Looks Like Mrs B either needs to

either use Head and Shoulders or 

wear light coloured clothes.....  

 

At the top of one of the chairlifts we ran into

this little Ptarmigan.  It literally shat itself, 

when I whipped out The Beast.  That's not
subtle shading but a genuine Ptarmigan log...

The Olmpic rings, a  reminder of 2010

More views from the Peak to Peak Gondola


A skier demonstrating pants skiing of the

highest order....I bet he’s glad he didn’t

sew his name tag onto his underwear

and so can remain in relative obscurity.



As a skier I always like to take every opportunity

that I can to grab the moral high ground from

those pesky boarders.....

Tune in next time for the joys of a kitchen makeover, after I foolishly allowed Mrs B to get a red coffee machine.....