Monday 23 January 2012

Having difficulty letting go of 2011

Apologies for the tardy start to the BlackLOG 2012, it seems to have been a struggle to find the time or the inclination but  I’ve dragged myself back into cyberspace with my first proper blog for 2012....

So, hello 2012.  I’m starting with a  bit of a catch-up,  which unfortunately takes me back to 2011 –

Sorry,  I’m clearly having difficulty letting go of 2011 –

What can I say?  It was a good year –

However I can promise it is only a brief trip while I fill in some background and then it will be into the current year....(Unless you are reading this from the future, in which case where have you been? P.S. if you have any tips on what happened in 2012 it would be much appreciated.  If you could leave these in the comments section,  I promise to use them exclusively for betting purposes  and then dedicate the winnings to living a more interesting life,  which will then be reported in the BlackLOG..... ) 

Whistler
It was off to Whistler for New Year – now at this point regular readers will already have it in mind that the next few paragraphs  will offer a sad tale of airport mix ups, luggage problems and general travel chaos....

I’m sorry to have to report that nothing could be further from the truth, so anyone who enjoys seeing high levels of suffering in the BlackLOG  should probably leave now and come back another time...

The story starts on the internet, at the beginning of December, when Mrs B found BA Business Class flights to Vancouver for only £100 more than cattle class sorry I mean economy  class tickets.   With the snow levels in Europe running on empty  at the time we jumped at the chance.

Business class travel
The problem with getting cheap Business class flights is you can get used to them – to put things in perspective Mrs B checked on the flight prices a couple of week later and discovered that our seats would cost an additional £4,000 each .....so I guess we won’t be getting Business class flights very often...

So what do you get once you step out of DVT* class?
  • Treated with respect, almost deference, from the moment you check in – they clearly don’t know how much you paid for your seat, we felt a bit fraudulent and expected someone to flag us up and march us back into economy....  
  • Extra luggage allowance that not even The Beast could break through.
  • Proper plates and cutlery and better quality food on the plane.
  • A seat that turns into a bed
  • A bigger screen for watching films
  • The chance to sit up in the bubble on a Jumbo Jet.
  • The opportunity to take off sitting backwards
  • Access to the Lounge at the airport where complimentary food and drink is provided.
  • Priority unload ticket on your luggage – although the ticket was the only thing that said “priority” about the experience.  If anything, our luggage came out after everyone else’s – maybe I missed the wording that said “Priority -  left till last because you haven’t paid full price for your ticket.....”
What I don’t get is what you could possibly get travelling First class, which makes it twice the price of Business Class . The only thing that I can think of is that you are paying for privacy so the great and the good don’t have to mix with us, the great unwashed...   

* DVT - Deep Vein Thrombosis - Even the dodgiest of supermarkets would be hard pushed to pass off economy passengers as free range....  The thing to remember with DVT is that just a few precautions can help reduce the risk. These include :- 
  • Earn loads of money so you don’t have to travel in the chicken coop  at the back of the plane...
  • Get someone else to pay for your business class ticket....
  • Learn to look like someone famous and wait for an upgrade....
  • Always go to the airport on stilts and complain about the lack of legroom....
Kindness of friends

We had booked a car, as we were landing late and then having to get back to Vancouver airport for an early flight on the way home, so the bus from Vancouver was not really an option.....  

We phoned our friend Mitch, who lives in Vancouver and told him we were going to be out in Whistler and if he wanted to join us for a few days he was welcome to crash on our sofa.....

He asked us how we were getting out to Whistler and we told him we had booked a car – Cancel it he said I can pick you up, spend a couple of days skiing with you and then pick you up and drop you off at the airport – we tried to tell him it was going to be late getting into Whistler on New Year’s Eve and an early start (4am) the following week to get back to Vancouver.  He insisted on being our chauffeur, how cool is that ...? Thanks Mitch.  That really is taking friendship above and beyond the call of duty....  

It had been a while since we had skied at Whistler, they were still bidding for the 2010 Olympics last time we were there, so that was probably about 2006.  We had been worried that it would be ruined by the Olympic building development so had avoided it.  TIn the event the only change we could see was the new Peak to Peak Gondola that was installed for the Olympics...

I don’t really get it. Whistler has two huge mountains that each have more than enough skiing for a week let alone half a day.... We did make the trip across,  waiting  for the glass bottom gondola, which gave some great photo opportunities but struck me,  at a cost of around CDN$51 million as quite expensive for a few of my holiday snaps.....
CDN$51 million seems a lot to pay for a photo opportunity
Three falls but  no submissions  
I almost managed to have my first  fall-free ski holiday, with just the one when I fell while avoiding a small child who skied in front of me– I had been feeling guilty  as the day before I had gone to spray Mitch who raised his skis and forced me to jump sideways, tapping the back of some poor girls skis,  sending her spinning to the ground. I had just about recovered without falling myself  and had gone back to apologise and help her pick herself up.  Even I felt I couldn’t have two collisions in two days, which incidentally was my first collision in about 26 years. I don’t want you to get the impression that I’m a serial collider......

Mrs B admitted to 2 ½ falls, although I think there might have been a few more and I’m waiting for the publication of her official fall audit.  I only witnessed 1 ½ of her falls which was the dramatic collapse in a lift queue and I’m guessing the half was when she was walking back to her skis  after lunch and started to topple – a small passing child proved a god send,  as Mrs B lost her footing and managed to push down on the child’s head as she toppled forward.  While Mrs B rose back up the small child got pushed gently into the snow....with the recent snow fall it’s probably still stuck there......   

Much as I love Canada I do have a  few problems with you
Now don’t get me wrong I like Canada but I have a few issues with :-
  • your Bacon - which appears to be 100% fat with a little pink stripe painted on the side              –  F.Y.I. that’s not bacon that’s fat.... 
  • your Food being so sweet.  How much sugar do you add to your products? I suspect even your sugar content is 200% sugar....
  • Taking everything said to you so literally.  I was out for a coffee with Mitch one evening and we were chatting to the Barrista who was very excited that she had served someone famous earlier in the day.
Barrista – “I served Sam Neill today - you know, the star of Jurassic Park”

Me – “I would have been more impressed if you had served one of the Velociraptors”

Barrister – “They don’t drink coffee do they?”

Me – “Do bears shit in the woods?”

Barrister – “Don’t mention bears I’m frightened of them”

Me – “No need to worry....” pointing at Mitch, in his Sheepskin flying jacket, “My friend Mitch kills and skins bears for a living...”

Barrista – “Gosh, that’s a real bearskin coat” she said admiring Mitch’s Sheepskin coat....

Me – “No it’s a Velociraptor coat, they were out of bears”

Barrista – “Wow....are they expensive????”

I decided to leave the conversation at that point  before I confused her any more.  Just as well I hadn’t told her that Mitch killed and skinned Sam Neill’s for a living.....

Being me though I didn’t stop there.....................  

I was moving across to a water fountain in one of the ski Lodges when a Canadian lady shoved passed me

Me - “After you” I said in my best polite English voice....

Canadian Skier – “Thank you” she said taking a gulp

Me – “No Problem, I always like to get people to test my food and drink before I partake, in case it has been poisoned”

I thought she was going to spit the water out as she glared at me and stomped off again...

I guess no matter how much I like Canada I would never be able to live there permanently  – Mitch had tried to warn me that many Canadians take everything said as factual and my sense of humour would get me into a lot of trouble – I would almost certainly have to carry a sign saying “Only joking....”    
   
Blogger Comment problems
Is it me or is anyone else having problems with Blogger comments – I had to change my blog comments from embedded  to pop-up window as the embedded version  keeps freezing.   I’m  also getting this when I try and comment on some other peoples’ Blogger pages – most frustrating or possibly relieving  for some of the blogger accounts I tried to comment on.

I tried using the updated blogger interface but that freezes as well....Hmmm do I need  to think about changing home to Wordpress or another alternative???

Watch of the week
The regular section in support of Joe (Stunt Cock) and his growing watch business Xupes. Joe mentioned that they had been getting a number of hits via the BlackLOG.

Xupes has been trading for over 3 years and  Joe has recently developed some great contacts in the trade which enables him to pick up surplus stock and sell them at great prices. Mrs B is a regular purchaser from his jewellery section, going self service once she finally realised that her husband is not the jewellery buying type…


Xupes price £5,995.00
This is your chance to acquire an excellent condition mens Franck Muller Casablanca 5850 Large SS automatic watch on black crocodile leather strap with stainless steel black tang buckle. This is the mens large size measuring 31.5mm by 38.8mm. The dial is mocha. This watch is stamped special on the reverse engraved with the Kuwait Royal Family Crest for whom the watch was manufactured in a very limited run of around 10 pieces. The watch is complete with original boxes & guarantee stamped and dated 24th December 2003. You are very unlikely to see another like this - Certainly a collectors piece for the future.
Record of the week
 Letting Go by Wings - I probably need to take note of this bit of advice from Mr McCartney

Sweets For My Sweet by The Searchers - Yes Canada and USA, you appear to have a very sweet tooth
Photo Finish
A Beast Eye view of Whistler

Tappan village restaurant,
as our chef laughs in the face of that
 age old advice not to play with
the food..
Whistlers Ski hosts, like an interactive piste map...

Christmas lights in the lower village....
if you look closely you can just see
 the Velociraptor skin coat in
 the foreground.... 

Looks Like Mrs B either needs to
either use Head and Shoulders or 
wear light coloured clothes.....  
 
At the top of one of the chairlifts we ran into
this little Ptarmigan.  It literally shat itself, 
when I whipped out The Beast.  That's not
subtle shading but a genuine Ptarmigan log...
The Olmpic rings, a  reminder of 2010
More views from the Peak to Peak Gondola

A skier demonstrating pants skiing of the
highest order....I bet he’s glad he didn’t
sew his name tag onto his underwear
and so can remain in relative obscurity.

As a skier I always like to take every opportunity
that I can to grab the moral high ground from
those pesky boarders.....
Tune in next time for the joys of a kitchen makeover, after I foolishly allowed Mrs B to get a red coffee machine.....

22 comments:

  1. Sounds like you had a good time. I doubt Canadians would get my 'humour' either. In fact, I think I'd last about 2 minutes there given every other comment I make is some sort of sarcastic remark. (Sarcasm, the greatest form of whit). Cough.

    PS: If any of your readers, or your good self, buys one of them watches...ask them if they'll lend me tenner ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Unless you are reading this from the future, in which case where have you been? "

    More talk of time travel! I love it!

    Sounds like you had a great time in Canada! I live in northeastern MN which is cold and snowy at least seven months out of the year. You would think I would have learned to ski to keep me entertained in the winter, but no. So I'm jealous of people who ski - it looks like so much fun! I would have about 52 1/2 falls and would look like the skier who is flashing his underwear. Oh dear.

    Looking forward to hearing about the kitchen remodel!

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  3. I just can't let go of 2011.
    For one thing, I have all these pre-printed checks with "2011" on them.
    For another, I'm holding out hope that Kim Kardashian can really make a go of her marriage with the cerebrally-challenged.
    Keep the faith!

    ReplyDelete
  4. The Ptarmigan is SO cute. All puffer-chested!

    And yes Blogger has been causing some problems lately.

    ReplyDelete
  5. cynicalscribble said...
    Sounds like you had a good time. I doubt Canadians would get my 'humour' either. In fact, I think I'd last about 2 minutes there given every other comment I make is some sort of sarcastic remark. (Sarcasm, the greatest form of whit). Cough.
    Nothing wrong with a great bit of sarcasm......

    PS: If any of your readers, or your good self, buys one of them watches...ask them if they'll lend me tenner ;)
    I’ve got a spare baritone if that helps.....

    ReplyDelete
  6. L-Kat said...
    "Unless you are reading this from the future, in which case where have you been? "

    More talk of time travel! I love it!
    I think we might be the only ones, well us and Marty McFly...

    Sounds like you had a great time in Canada! I live in northeastern MN which is cold and snowy at least seven months out of the year. You would think I would have learned to ski to keep me entertained in the winter, but no. So I'm jealous of people who ski - it looks like so much fun! I would have about 52 1/2 falls and would look like the skier who is flashing his underwear. Oh dear.
    Best not ski commando style then.....

    Looking forward to hearing about the kitchen remodel!
    It might be a bit of a wait, the work is still ongoing...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Al Penwasser said...
    I just can't let go of 2011.
    For one thing, I have all these pre-printed checks with "2011" on them.
    For another, I'm holding out hope that Kim Kardashian can really make a go of her marriage with the cerebrally-challenged.
    Keep the faith!

    You have to let go of the cheques and learn to embrace the credit card.....The only chance Kim Karsashian has of keeping a marriage together is if she and her next husband fall into a coma at the altar....

    ReplyDelete
  8. Miss Caitlin S. said...
    The Ptarmigan is SO cute. All puffer-chested!
    I think the Ptarmigan might have had a boob job.....

    And yes Blogger has been causing some problems lately.
    Fingers crossed they sort it out, I really don’t want to have to move home...

    ReplyDelete
  9. I managed to have a fall-free trip in Taos, I thought, until I fell down HARD walking down a street to dinner. The right side of my butt/hip area is not the right color. As far as I know, I didn't take any children down with me. However, if I did, they're definitely still implanted in the pavement.


    I haven't yet made it to Whistler, but it is definitely on my list!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I have been unable to comment on your blog for months, thought it was just me, hoping I cam let you know tonight? We went to Ely yesterday, and think it would be a lovely place to meet the Blacks during the summer. Fabulous cathedral Happy New year by the way!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Brooke said...
    I managed to have a fall-free trip in Taos, I thought, until I fell down HARD walking down a street to dinner.
    Was that after a visit to a drinking establishment perchance....

    The right side of my butt/hip area is not the right color.
    or your butt and hip are the correct colour and the rest of you is faulty....

    As far as I know, I didn't take any children down with me. However, if I did, they're definitely still implanted in the pavement.
    What taking no children with you what a waste of a fall.....

    I haven't yet made it to Whistler, but it is definitely on my list!
    I’m guessing it is not a far enough drive for you yet, I’m sure you will get to it on a trip via Southern Chile

    ReplyDelete
  12. skipperthewonderhorse said...
    I have been unable to comment on your blog for months, thought it was just me, hoping I can let you know tonight?
    I thought you had got bored of us....glad to see you back

    We went to Ely yesterday, and think it would be a lovely place to meet the Blacks during the summer. Fabulous cathedral Happy New year by the way!
    Sounds like an excellent plan and a happy New Year

    ReplyDelete
  13. Martin the smoker24 January 2012 at 20:52

    I think you’ll find that DVT is caused by the airlines turning down the air conditioning when they banned smoking.

    So which do you prefer? Smoking or DVT?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Martin the smoker said...
    I think you’ll find that DVT is caused by the airlines turning down the air conditioning when they banned smoking.

    So which do you prefer? Smoking or DVT?


    I’ll take my chances with the DVT.....

    ReplyDelete
  15. just testing. think I might even have discovered what I was doing wrong - ie. not signing in prior to trying to post. Won't accept signing in as part of the commenting process. Interesting. And I will let the Farmer know that Ely is a date for the summer.

    ReplyDelete
  16. My guess is that the sweetness of Canadian cuisine probably comes from their neverending obsession with maple syrup. And maybe that's why they have no sense of humor or appreciation for wit. Maple syrup overdose. No, I know it makes no logical sense, but honestly I haven't had my coffee yet and it's the best explanation I've got.

    Sorry to hear about the baggage mix-up, but grats on the generous friend and the opportunity to fly in style.

    Cheers!

    brandon

    ReplyDelete
  17. skipperthewonderhorse said...
    just testing. think I might even have discovered what I was doing wrong - ie. not signing in prior to trying to post. Won't accept signing in as part of the commenting process. Interesting.
    I was having freezing issues when the comments are imbedded, I also have problems if I sign on and tick the box to remain signed on....never had a problem signing in as part of the comment process, although I don’t use that option very often

    And I will let the Farmer know that Ely is a date for the summer. Looking forward to catching up already

    ReplyDelete
  18. A Beer for the Shower said...
    My guess is that the sweetness of Canadian cuisine probably comes from their neverending obsession with maple syrup. And maybe that's why they have no sense of humor or appreciation for wit. Maple syrup overdose. No, I know it makes no logical sense, but honestly I haven't had my coffee yet and it's the best explanation I've got.
    To be honest the sweetness and humour issues are a North American issue no just Canadian. I’m willing to work with your “not had your coffee yet” excuse....

    Sorry to hear about the baggage mix-up, but grats on the generous friend and the opportunity to fly in style.

    Cheers!

    brandon

    I’ll take a short delay on waiting for my luggage overseeing the contents of my bad spread across the luggage conveyor belt ant day of the week....

    P.S. One day say soon I’m going to find the time to down load your graphic novel and review it – I want to make sure you maximise your sales though before I jinx it for you....I have a tendency to join the band wagons just as it starts doing Titanic impressions....

    ReplyDelete
  19. But...but...the high levels of suffering are why I enjoy Blacklog!! So much like my life.
    Really had to look twice at the chef photo. So phallic. But still very awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  20. You're hilarious!

    Isn't it funny how we gauge our ski trips according to how many falls we've taken. And always make note on how graceful or ungraceful each one was, and who we took down with us.

    I haven't skied in ages! I love skiing but I managed to marry a guy who has bad knees and is very uncoordinated. He used to play a mean game of baseball though, but again, the knees have curtailed that activity. Whistler sounds like a really nice place. And it sounds like you had a great time despite the some what lousy air flight. So, Business Class is better than economy, First is better than Business, stay out of cattle class, right?

    Why didn't you just ski in Switzerland?

    Can't wait for the redo post! Home renovation posts are always a treat!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Dawn @Lighten Up! said...
    But...but...the high levels of suffering are why I enjoy Blacklog!! So much like my life.
    It’s always nice to know that my suffering brings such enjoyment....

    Really had to look twice at the chef photo. So phallic. But still very awesome.
    For obvious reasons I decided to skip the sausage course.....you never know

    ReplyDelete
  22. ryoko861 said...
    You're hilarious!
    So much so they have reserved a place for me at the funny farm....How nice is that

    Isn't it funny how we gauge our ski trips according to how many falls we've taken. And always make note on how graceful or ungraceful each one was, and who we took down with us.
    That’s a really good way of justifying falling on the slopes...I’m not sure how I could cope if I had a fall free holiday, which would leave me nothing to talk about

    I haven't skied in ages! I love skiing but I managed to marry a guy who has bad knees and is very uncoordinated.
    Mistake one hooking up with a none skier....Mistake two not making use of his unco-ordinatedness of your husband and forcing him onto the skies – you could have made a fortune on funny video’s.....well, certainly enough to cover his medical bills...

    He used to play a mean game of baseball though, but again, the knees have curtailed that activity.
    Can’t you buy him a wheelchair for game time...

    Whistler sounds like a really nice place. And it sounds like you had a great time despite the some what lousy air flight. So, Business Class is better than economy, First is better than Business, stay out of cattle class, right?
    Who would have guessed the evil airlines would run such an elitist system of rewarding people who pay more money

    Why didn't you just ski in Switzerland?
    I’m a bit worried about visiting Switzerland as they allow assisted suicide. I would worry with my track record for mix-ups that they might mistake the reason for my visit and I would hate not to get to use my return ticket...

    Can't wait for the redo post! Home renovation posts are always a treat!
    about that...you might have to wait a while longer

    ReplyDelete

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